Well, Well,

Time flies when you are having fun.

I always have too little to say of too much.

Here lately, so much has been coming at us that I simply cannot write about for multiple reasons. A whole shit ton of good and just a few minor complications.

Privacy issues keep me from completely telling our family's story.

Our family of FIVE'S story.

I have a step-daughter who I will finally get to know.

I have never blogged about this before because the story is not mine, it's Eric's and it has always been such a touchy, painful issue that I just couldn't put into words. But the important thing is that we are getting an opportunity that we didn't think existed. I have a teen-age step daughter (eeek). My children have an older sister who is an absolute joy to be around.

I am not going into any more details.

I may in the future.

Who knows.

We are so very happy and I want to share. I do. I am just so very afraid of my blog. It's funny how something so good for you and therapeutic, can be a weapon if it fell in the wrong hands.

I toy with the idea of starting up another blog. One with nicknames and no pics so that I can just let it all hang out. Ya know?

But then if my blog makes the big time, then how will I ever appear on Dr. Phil without outing my family?

I keed, I keed.

I wouldn't go on Dr. Phil because I am afraid he will pick at my thread and figure out that I am severely screwed up or something. I don't wanna deal with my issues today, Dr. Phil, so just back off ok?

Just know that we are in suck a very awesome place in our family.

E is enjoying summer and taking a vacation about every other week so far. He went to Disney with Dad, Camping with the grandparents, stay cation with us, church camp next week, and the rest is to be determined. And can you believe he said this morning that he was ready for school to start? He is a weirdo that one.

Conner is ALL.MOST ONE.

Next month I will start planning his first birthday.

He is everywhere. All the time.

He eats anything in sight and (most of the time) it is food and not paper, grass, SLUGS or dog/cat food.

He is so close to taking steps that it is scary. He wants to. You can see it in his little face but he gets scared and sits down and crawls where he wants to go.

He is a MAMA'S boy. It is so bad that I think he would be happier if I had a kangaroo pouch for him to ride in. I kinda think this is a boobie thing and as flattered as I am, I am so ready for my boobs to be mine again.

Call me selfish.

I DON'T CARE.

Now he has slowed down quite a bunch this week cause I have been offering bottles to him. He was kinda put out at first but he has learned that he can be mobile with the bottle and as long as I am sitting approximately two feet away he will drink from the bottle and play. If I walk away then all bets are off.

I have loved breast feeding until now. Cried while looking down at his sweet face and feeling contentment that I have never felt before.

BUT.

Ya know how when you watch a mama dog try to wean their babies and the little puppy just hangs on and she is trying to get away and she looks kinda tired, cranky, OVER IT?

Well, send me hate mail, call me a sucky mom but I am tired of having my nipple stretched two feet because Conner is trying to snack AND play on his stand-up jazz piano thingie.

We are weaning.

I hope everyone is having a great summer.

We are and it is amazing!

RING AROUND THE ROSIOLA

Well, we survived our first childhood illness this week.

The baby is pokey dotted from head to toe. He looks pitiful. The dots are lightly scattered on his face and it gets thicker as you go down. The rash doesn't seem to bother him, but he is still pretty tired.

Saturday we battled a 103 degree fever and I held him literally all day long. Eric stayed home with us Saturday night and we all three camped out in the living room on E's full sized matress. E was at his dads so we borrowed his bed so that I could actually put the baby down while he was sleeping. He wouldn't sleep in his bed and I don't feel comfortable leaving him on my bed if I am not next to him. My plan didn't work though because he would only lay on the bed it I did so I spend 48 hours laying in the living room floor watching the first 2 season of Weeds*.

Sunday was a little better but he still didn't feel very good so we had a low key cookout with our parents. The rash broke out that night and as Conner started feeling better he decided he didn't need anymore sleep so we stayed up until 11:30 getting into everything we are not supposed to.

Now he has thrush.

Also, my boobs have it.

Thrush sucks and that is about all I know about it. I am waiting for the presciption and trying to find things that he can eat with a bum tongue.

I was getting worried cause he wouldn't eat but last night he discovered Mcdonald's french fries and ketchup and despite the thrush he mananged to eat about a cup full of it. So totally gross!

TWO'S DAY

My husband and I work the same schedule today. This never happens and for some reason I can NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM. I feel weird like umm.. having some pretty naughty thoughts (Hi, mom-in-law). He is all dressed up and right down the street and I keep imagining him taking lunch when I do and meeting up at the house and ripping our...(CENSORED)

Of course this won't happen cause our house is filled with kiddo's and grandparents watching the kiddo's and cats and goldfishes, but it's a nice thought. Maybe we could just go have lunch together instead. Alone. At the park..

Geez I need to get a grip.

I think since he took the 3:30am shift with the baby I am just feeling a little appreciative. More sleep is HOT.

I felt bad for him this morning because he had a rough night with the baby. His exact words at one point were, "We are weaning this baby now! No more boobie for him!"

I had to take E to the ER last night due to a virus that is making him have some terrible headaches. We saw his DR yesterday morning and since it's viral we can't really do anything for him but treat the headache and two regular Tylenol didn't touch the headache or the fever so I had no choice but the bring him down and see if they could do anything for him.

We waited for 2 hours and still had not been seen at 9pm and the baby woke up and his boobie wasn't there and he was PISSED. He screamed for about 30 minutes and my husband almost met us up at the ER just to make sure the baby wasn't coming down with anything. He wasn't. He was just very unhappy that the booby lady stepped out on him.

I feel bad. I know that breast is best. But when breast is the only thing that makes him happy, it is hard on any person that tries to soothe him.

E's headache went away before we were even seen so we decided to try going back home and if it got worse through the night coming back up there. They basically said there was nothing to do and he was welcome to lay in a dark room with a cold cloth on his head while waiting another two hours to be seen by an actual DR; who would probably just give him Motrin and send him home.

We decided we could do that at home and this morning he seemed to be feeling much better.

Conner was his normal happy self after feeding about 3 times after I got home.

I was actually feeling pretty good having the extra sleep. Eric, however, had the dazed no-sleep, haggard face I usually have.

Eric asked what was wrong with Conner last night.

"Honey, this is an every night thing." I gave him a kiss and said, "Try to focus cause by 3pm, you will probably want to kill yourself."

Self Feeding?

As Conner chowed down on breakfast in his walker, I busied myself with the morning chores thinking how self feeding has made the morning routine just a little easier and really just patting myself on the back because I am starting to get this whole life tornado to stop spinning so violently.

I go to get him and clean him up for the day and am quite suprised how little mess there was to clean up.

While in the midst of my afternoon break, it dawned on me why the area was so clean.

Our little dog was running around unsuprovised also..

AAAAAACK.

Mother of the year?

I DIDN'T THINK SO.

Genetics

One of my earliest memories is Spending the weekend at my Aunt Elly's for family reunions. We lived next door to my great-grandmother and she would take me down a day early and all the women would gather in the kitchen, cooking, gossiping, all in the name of preparing for the 50 or so people that would come down on Friday night and stay through the weekend.

Aunt Elly lived in a small 2 bedroom frame house with a huge kitchen on the back and a bigger sun porch on the front. Her home was very simple and even though there was indoor plumbing ,the last and most recent modern addition to her home, there was also an outhouse.

My favorite thing to do was lay under the large claw foot table in her kitchen while the cooking and laughing commenced over my head.

That night I would curl up with my grandma in a soft feather bed with lots of feather pillows and giggle all the while her laughing and softly patting me on the leg to calm me into sleeping. I would roll over and grasp her earlobe between my fingers and drift off into perfect sleep.

The next day as family members would drift in, playmates would be added to the group one by one.

We chased chickens.

We fed the horses.

We made mud pies.

Adam would cry because he got dirty. Jack would cry after we made him sample the pie.

It was worth standing in the corner.

All eleven times.

Food was plenty. Even if the chickens were prepared from start to finish RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

Love was abundant.

My first glimpse of the fibers that knitted together who and what made me.

This weekend we will travel to a family reunion.

The location will be different.

More modern.

I will be one of the women in the kitchen.

My children will be making the pies and standing in the corner.

Some of the same people will be there and some will be looking down from above.

But the thing that won't change?

The Love.

You know when you start that new relationship and you are all swooning in it's awesome sauce, dreaming of the happy future you will have together?

And then. AND THEN.

You google them to find out there is a website full of scorned woman who have been jilted by this peter puffer? Such things as taking money and making empty promises that they could never deliver. Leaving you stranded on the side of the road with no cab fair and a broken stap on your flip flop in 90 degree heat and you have to hop on one foot to the nearest payphone to call for a ride as to not burn you bare foot on the nasty pavement. Making YOU pay THEM while you are the "worker bee" in the relationship?

Well, this really hasn't happened to me. I mean it DID, but it wasn't a man so much as a stinkin company.

The company's name is Smelly Hippo Cooters.

Ok that is not really the name but the initials are the same.

I have spent the last week in a fog thinking that this may be a great opportunity for me. Doing what I feel in my bones I should be doing. I was dreaming of coming home exhausted and fulfilled. Knowing that I was helping people. The perks. The money. My chance to put all the training I have had to use. To use my license for the purpose it was intended.

That dream ended at 11:47pm with a quick google search.

I read on and on about all the disgruntled previous employees.

I am heart broken.

Stupid Smelly Hippo Cooters.

*"Why you gotz to lie, Craig?"

*"Why you gotz to liiieeee."

Eric did remind me that I should be thankful that I do have a job. And it is with a major player in the industry. Even though I don't like the position. Somewhere there is potential.

Well, He didn't say all that he just said, "Be thankful you gotz a job", but I like my affirmation better.



*Bonus points if you can tell me what movie this if from. No prize though except for my love and devotion.

Knock it off

Dear Top Colleges,

Stop calling to speak to my boss. Please.

He did not request information on colleges on the Internet yesterday.

IT was me and it was a total accident.

To the ass-monkey that I spoke to on the phone,

"You will not be able to talk to my boss for him to request to be taken off your list. He has a PHD and, I assure you, has no interest in furthering his college career."

The only reason that you were alerted of this request is I accidentally clicked the wrong button on a pop up and I don't need you alerting HIM that I was dicken around on the Internet.

No Thanks.

Have a nice day.