On my way to budha belly

While getting ready for work I am thinking who in their right mind would make tapered leg maternaty pants. Also, who in their right mind would buy said pants. Me, thats who. I was not paying attention as I snagged them off the rack at the thrift shop. I am sitting here wishing that I had thrown them back in my closet but instead I wore them and everytime I get up they stick to my calves, making me have to jiggle my fatty legs to make them come down where they are supposed to be. It's as unflattering as it sound. I. Promise.

Next, the maternaty swimmy suit. I chose the Tankini style and I have to say I am SUPER happy with the boobage cover however, the one that covered so great up top has teeny tiny bottoms. The problem with this is the lack of visual confirmation that the lawn has been properly mowed. Do you get me? I did try. Worked and worked in the blind this and this is what I got:



Eric finally decided to help but who can feel relaxed while someone is taking a razor to your delicate girly bits while laughing so hard they are crying?

I am just going to wear shorts with my tankini from now on.