Thursday, March 5, 2009

Somebody slap me

I am just a big gooey pile of nerves today. If it can be worried about I have thought about it today.

As I approach my SECOND TRIMESTER(WTF!!!), time seems to be slipping away. 1 whole part of my pregnancy will be history as of Sunday. I can HEAR TICKING PEOPLE! I created a master list of things that needed to be done and holleee shit did I not need to do that.

Home repair, taxes, baby room, finances, animal care/training, cleaning, bills, money, dollars, pennies, lack of money ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maternity leave, c-section.


I have already ruined Eric's day off by worrying so much that he is at home worrying and playing demolition to the bathroom.

Logically, I know that everything is going to be fine. I did this before when I was barely considered an adult. I have a wonderful husband we own our home and have jobs and money. I didn't have any of this before so I know everything is going to be ok.

I need to burn the master list all it did was put me in a shitty mood.

My Dr. is hell bent on performing a c-section and I feel strongly that given my knowledge on things now and highter maturity level and the length of time between births that I could safely try to give the baby a natural birth.

Does anyone have any insight on vbacs(vaginal births after cecerean?) I want the experiance and the birth classes.

I was induced before my due date with E and honestly? I don't feel like he was ready and that affected the birth process. I was also considerably smaller then and I think that now that I have done all the spreading I am hopefully ever going to do that I should at least be able to try.


Leslee said...

I'm sorry that your anxiety is high. I hope that you find your balance soon.

As far as a VBAC, look for evidence-based sources., and International Cesearean Awareness Network ( are two sites that I have perused as part of my doula training. You can do it!!!

Good luck!

noswimmers said...

It will all work out. Your beautiful baby will be happy sleeping in a laundry basket, if need be. ;)

Jen said...

It will be just fine! The third trimester is really slow, I got so much done then. You have plenty of time left.

Io said...

Holy FUCK! Time is flying if you're in your second trimester and I have been absent from the blogworld this whole damn time!!!!!!!
I am so happy for you my friend.
Breathe deep. It will all be okay.

BrandiH2007 said...

Get rid of the list!!! I made one too and it's still on my fridge but I didn't look at it at all during my 2nd trimester and just did the other day. And I'm happy to report that you will do the things you need to with or without that list.

As for a VBAC, my hospital won't even consider letting you so the first thing I would do is talk to your doctor and see if you need to switch hospitals and doctors.

Good luck!

Beautiful Mess said...

Make sure you are very insistent upon your VBAC. If it's important to you, it should be important to your doctors. I agree with Brandi, get rid of the list. Mine just drove me nuts! Deep breaths, hon!

kate said...

Throw out the list! The important things will stay at the top of your mind anyway, and thus, the important things will be the ones that get done.

Holy-shmoly! SECOND trimester already??? Seems like only yesterday you were announcing your peestick... my how time flies!

Teresa said...

Everything's gonna be just fine. I can't believe you're already going into your 2nd trimester...woo the time flew for me! ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm a list maker too, but sometimes you just make it and set it on fire. That definitely makes you feel better!

Tiffanie said...

holy crap! 2nd tri already??!! congrats, and don't freak out about too much. u still have time.

Morgan said...

HeLLLLOOOoooo anybody home??

To A T said...

I'm with Morgan... are you there? We miss you!!