Wednesday, March 17, 2010


This morning I was digging in the back of my closet looking for my "Kiss me, I'm Irish" t-shirt.

I was getting pretty pissed that I couldn't find it and my besties are patiently waiting in the driveway for me so we can go to Six Flags.

I know it is in here but I don't wanna dig too far because the last time I did that I ended up with cat poo on my forehead.

Well shit!(pun..well you know)

Now they are honking.

I am trying to hurry. Quit the damn honking.

My god! Stop!

I run to the garage door.

"Stop honking the damn horn" I giggle.


I realize as I am laying in bed that I don't HAVE a "kiss me I'm Irish" t-shirt.

The "honking" is my alarm clock.

My best buddy lives 1,000 miles away and is not in fact in my drive way.

I have a baby finger in my nose.

I am not going to Six Flags today but I AM going to work.

The only thing relevant to the whole dream is

Happy St. Patty's Day!!!!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

To my darling little screeching howler monkey,

I say that in the nicest way possible. What is with all the screaming? Are you working your way to lead singer in some crazy death metal band in your teens? We have all been walking around with grins and headaches for a whole week now. Its hilarious how it takes your whole body to muster up the scream and you have to sit and recuperate for a couple of minutes before you can scream again. There is a saying though. Its only funny a max of 3 times. I learned that in theatre. It's a good lesson so..

In the six months that you have been on this earth, you have learned all sorts of neat tricks. You can smile and laugh. You can SCREAM. You are trying to wave bye-bye.

You can make us come running when you do your little fake cough you have started.

You haven't quite figured out how the whole crawling thing is supposed to work but you can roll to your destination like no body's business.

Your days are normally spent drinking from your CUP, eating puffs, and watching Madagascar. And BTW we really have to talk about your movie. I know you like it. I know you like to MOVE IT, MOVIE IT. But really? Two times a day? We are not even supposed to be letting you watch tv.

It's not hurting you though. You are the smartest SIX MONTH OLD around I just know it. You are a cute, inquisitive, sweet, sharing little critter.

You love to play and be outside.

Your favorite thing to do it to take a walk to the park in your stroller we haven't gotten to do it much but I promise you will spend a ton of time there this summer.

I also want to thank you for sleeping until 5am these last couple of days. The time change has been a little rough on mommy so the extra sleep is much needed. However, last night while I was rocking you to sleep at 9pm and casually mentioned to your father how you were super easy to get to sleep and then you sat up from your knocked out state and preceded to stay awake until 11pm? That was not cool. Jokes on mommy right? See? I told you, super smart.

To be serious. You have totally and completely blown your father and I away by how incredibly awesome you are. I see great things in you already. I see such a gentleness in you soul that I will protect with every fiber of my being. You are content. You wake up every morning happy. I do too little man.

You adore your daddy, bubby, and mommy (in that order I am afraid).

& I adore you.

Happy 1/2 a year kid!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Monday Musings

I just figured I would give a random list of my boo-shit today.

I have been obsessed with Big Love for the last month or so. I started watching season four on HBO, but then decided I really want to watch from the beginning.

To date I have had two dreams about the po-lig-a-me.

I dreamed I was Nikki. It really bothers me that I am not Margene. I mean Nikki is the wife that is all conservative with the long hair with a half-up,bump it, Snookie, poof thing going on. She wears ankle length dresses and almost never swears. But she is crafty and sneaky and I do appreciate that.

Margene is the spunky, hot, third wife. I could go for being her.

However, things are getting a little out of hand because last night I dreamed that the scary Mormans at Juniper Creek stole Conner and wouldn't give him back because he was not being raised properly. So I might need to take a little breakey from HBO.

We spent the weekend back in my hometown visiting relatives and had a great time. We helped my grandparents clean up their property and just visited. It was exactly what we needed. Conner charmed the pants off everyone he met and was the best baby I could ask for. I am amazed at how well he travels. I don't think he cried the entire time we were there. E was great too. He worked so very hard raking leaves and hauling tree limbs.

I feel my grandparents house is my childhood home and it is very soothing to visit. I wished I felt that way about visiting my parents but I just don't. It's awkward. My mom and I have always struggled with our relationship. What mother and daughter doesn't at some point, right? But ours is constant. Draining

I don't know how I turned down this road, but I think I want to head back to the sister wives conversation.

I am thinking about accepting Resumes for two sister wives. I could use the extra hands.

Think about it.

Eric is pretty hot.

Sizes 8 and under need not apply.

If you haven't had any children and your boobs are still perky and pointy you don't really need to waste your time.

If you shave your legs more than once a week then your application will PROBABLY get lost in the shuffle as well.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Hot stuff

When in the H E DOULBE HOCKEY STICKS does this parenting this get easy and start, you know, kinda working for itself?

Apparantly I gave birth to the reincarnated Robin Hood. Except instead of stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, he just decided to take and keep for himself?

A week before spring break.

Now I have to be the evil parent that cancels his spring break and play prison gaurd at home.

No you may not Ride your bike..sticky fingers.

No you may not go play at your friends.

No you may not watch TV.

I am sorry you are bored but you could be camping right now.

According to his teacher, "E has been quite the little TOOT the last couple of weeks."

This is on top of what we went to the school for this morning.



Not a path I want my 9 year old on.

This is not easy. He is supposed to go camping with his great-grandparents. I spent every spring break camping with them and it is a tradition that they are trying to keep alive. I know that this time is so important. It breaks my heart to have to make this call.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

For the Wagers of Nookie.

Eric: "Honey, I still have time to take a nap before work and you KNOW what would help me sleep." (Nudge, nudge, eyebrow wiggles)

Marie: (frantically running around trying to clean up before bed)"Eric, if you will spend 15 minutes in here cleaning, then I will spend 15 minutes in the bedroom doing whatever you want."

Eric: "Well that's not really fair since I don't really NEED 15 minutes in there."


His funural arrangements are pending.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Put upon

There are days in every ones life that they start to feel a little put upon.

Laundry is piled.

Dishes are piled.

Bills have to be mailed.

Baseball sign ups have to be completed.

Baby has to be fed, bathed, fed, sang to, FED.(Growth poor boobies)

Baby wakes up at 4 AM and when you take him into the living room to see his daddy who doesn't sleep at night and is just SITTING there watching tv. So you think that maybe they can hang out and catch up on things that only people with penises talk about and you can go get another hour or so of sleep.

THEN you get the stink eye.

Like the tv can not in fact accommodate BOTH of them so you really need to take the kiddo back to bed and do whatever it is the two of you do at 4am.

You get a little pissy.

Well I get a little pissy.

I get a lot pissy in fact.

Pissy doesn't help me to sleep.

So I'm all shooting the stink eye from both my eyes.

I finally get back to sleep and what do you know the door opens and my boobs are needed AGAIN.

So I get up for the day.

I get ready for work.

I feed the baby his cereal.

Look around the house and think that my schedule sucks and I am going to be spending all weekend cleaning and that really sucks ass.

I get to work barely on time and remember a conference call that is about to start in five minutes. So I log into the call and forgo my usual cup of coffee and email checking. So sleepy.

But you know what turned my day around?

Eric had to clean this up.

I know I just posted my son's shit on the internet but yall, I have never felt so vindicated in my whole live long life.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Sprung from Winter.

Come on Spring!

Get here already.

I am so over the cold.

I am sitting here thinking about all the things I miss out on in summer while the kiddo is out of school and I am sitting at my desk nosing around in YOUR lives and I was hit by a revelation.

I have two FULL days a week that I usually waste.

Saturday and Sunday are usually my- "Whah I worked all week and I just wanna sit at home and be lazy days." Or. "I have to spend all weekend cleaning because the males in my house (and me) live like monkeys during the week and I have to clean our cage."

Not this year.

I gotz me a schedule.

Tuesday I was really on the ball and did everything on my list and even went to bed with the kitchen completely clean.


I sat on my monkey ass and watched the 3 episodes of Big Love and the season finale of Nip/Tuck.

I will start enjoying my weekends though.

Cage be damned.

Baseball is starting and I love to watch E play more than anything else in the whole wide world. I am super excited to be able to push baby boy in his stroller so he can watch too. We just finished basketball and he loved to watch E play but the weather was so bad all the time that he only got to watch a couple of games.

Come on spring. Lead us into flip flops and snow cones. Late evening walks and bbqs. Fishing. Swimming. Fresh produce. Shorts. Sunless Tanning (AMEN). Camping out in the backyard. Fire works. Popsicles.

Am I leaving anything out?

I plan to turn the TV off and enjoy my boys. I will leave the DVR on of course and just loose sleep watching my shows at night ahem.

What spring activity are you twitterpaters ready for??