Tuesday, July 1, 2008

cd 28

Ok, so it is cd28 and no flo in sight. I am feeling that old ray of hope trying to peek into my world. This isn't clomid induced lateness because I did not take it. I have been running at night and I moved my in law's this weekend and we did a lot of work.

I spent my lunch dreaming about what clever thing I could say at dinner tonight if I tested and it was positive. Thinking about how great the timing would be and how my whole family is close enough to to share in our pregnancy (while that may be a little overwhelming) I am so happy that they are here.

I hate that I can't let go and stop doing the what if thing but I just can't.

E is with his dad this week and last night I was walking Daisy and decided to pass by there house and let E see his dog. Ok, now a couple of people said they would be interested about the joint custody thing so here ya go you asked for this bitch session.

When I got to the house and knocked on the door E answered and he was in his pajamas. It was 7:45, daylight, and summer come on. His step-mother had already put him to bed and his dad was not home. He said he was thirsty and she would not let him have a drink because she was afraid he would wet the bed. He also was not even going to see his dad so I ask you what is the point of him being there? She obviously did not want to be bothered and his father wouldn't be home until much later. Am I being to picky here? We live right around the corner from each other why can't E's father get him when he is going to be there? I am very easy to get along with in fact, sometimes too easy and he can see him whenever he wants so there is not reason to take him away from home when he is not seeing him. I called his father to "casually mention" he was in bed but he will not answer his phone uggg. I find it very hard to believe he would have put him to bed that early with nothing to drink.

Sometimes I find myself being over protective but it this damn infertility that makes me crazy and my thinking is that this could be my only child and I am going to be the best mother I can possibly be. That sound like a good thing and maybe it is, but sometimes it makes me a little, well, crazy!!

5 comments:

Jen said...

I will keep my fingers crossed for you!

Aunt Becky said...

The 2WW is torture. Pure torture.

You are testing tonight? I wish you mad luck. I'll be checking back like crazy.

Alison said...

OMG! This could be it!!!

Io said...

Oh hope. She is such a sneaky one.
The shared custody must be frustrating to deal with when you're able to see where you could be better.
How nice that they are so close though.

honeywine said...

Wuuu..."clomid induced lateness" that phrase alone would have been so helpful to me a few days ago. ::sigh:: Here's hoping you have better luck than I did.