Just when I come to terms with the diagnosis of our misfortune my body decides to send me a total mind fuck. A renewed spring in my step. Belly laughs that I though I would never feel again. Hope, peace, acceptance is slipping away.
I am 10 days late for my period.
CD 29- Not concerned as I had all symptoms and signs that flo was coming.
CD 30- Didn't even think about it but started packing just in case.
CD 36-Took test in private. It was negative and no tears (small sigh)
CD 40-Its 1:30(not sure if time changed yet or not)and I have done the following:
Dug my test out of bathroom trash and examined under every light in the house. I know about evaporated lines but come on we all have been in the same boat at one point in time so don't give me lip.
Googled if you can use opk to determine pregnancy
Noticed all sorts of IPS. Here is a list
Nausea (but i might just be hungry)
Sleeplessness (hello cause I'm terrorizing myself)
Peeing alot (I did drink coffe earlier which could also explain 2nd syptom)
Prayed that one of you faithful great confidants would be up and online to give me
an online slap.
Blogged my craziness.
Laughed my ass off at myself.
Mentally dogged myself for this stupid, stupid list. If you are still with me thank you for reading this drivel.
I can't go back here I just do not have it in me to fight this battle right now. I need this to be on the back burner for awhile. I have some really big things that need my undivided attention this week and if I am not pregnant I really need to get my visit. But! If........