My snarky dog

This is my dog in my husbands chair and she is not supposed to be up there. He asked her very nicely to get down and this is what she said!!

Friends

Many of us have amazing friends from childhood, high school, college, etc. They are the folks that we can count on in a crises. The people that have seen you shoot Dr. Pepper out of you nose while laughing. They (for me) have on a couple of occasions, nursed you back from the brink of death when you discovered warm Coors light at a pasture party (yes I did it more than once). They have also sat beside your bed when your heart was broken and you thought your world was surely crumbling into a million pieces. Some of us are extremely lucky to still have these friends in your life. But, why do these friends suck so hard when it come to infertility?

Why are the incapable of just sitting by your side again? Can they not just hold your hair back and let you spill your word vomit about how much this journey sucks? Is it because they can not relate to it? I mean, we have all had our hearts broken, bad days at work, fat days, bad hair days is that why we can find it in ourselves to console each other?

Things that were said by my best (girl) friend last night:

• Take so & so supplement as your body may be unhealthy and preventing you from pregnancy (WTF?)
• Relax (roll eyes)
• I think you should switch to all organic foods and drink more water. (are you done?)
• Your body may not be healthy enough to sustain a pregnancy. Even if you get pregnant you might loose it. (Are you freaking kidding me?????)

Its O fficial

I ovulated so now we wait. Guess that means no drinky drink for memorial day but it will be worth it . We are having a big family get together as I have two cousins leaving for Iraq in June. One is getting married June 1st and I am not fond of his wife-to-be and she not of me so she invited all the girl cousins to her bachelorette party but me. I do not really care as I will still be in my 2ww or hopefully be pregnant but still she was talking about it in front of me. What a heifer!! I did ,however, get invited to bridal shower which makes me feel she is only in it for the gift what do y'all think? Should I stay or should I go??

Can you Feel it? Uhn uhh..(Bio Dome)

I am honed in on my ovaries. Opk shows spike for 3 days and me and hubby are tired and saying ovulate already. I am waiting to feel anything.

HSG...CHECK

Ok, I did my hsg yesterday and it was great doctor said there was no problems and tubes are clear. I looked at him and said "Well what is the problem then?" I just knew that was going to be the problem. Don't get me wrong I am glad my plumbing is perfect but that does not tell us what is wrong.

Eric and I had the uncomfortable conversation on the way home about him. I feel that we need to get him tested and he wants no part of that. After the anger subsided I started thinking about it and I understand sort of. But it has to be done. I thought about maybe getting a kit from GNC or online so that he can test at home but have no clue how accurate those are. So how do I convince my husband that we need to check on his side of things and that no this does not make you less of a man but more of one for wanting to do what is needed for his family?

I am jumping around in topic but I must comment on hsg some more. I had to go to the Dr. office and get a cathater and then go to hospital. It was not as bad as I thought it would be but I did have some major cramping. Watching my vacant uterous on tv was pretty cool and I was suprised at how small my tubes are. My doctor said sometimes this is all it takes for pregnancy so we shall see.

E has 3 more baseball games so that will keep me busy next couple of weeks.

My first Meme

Ok blogger buddies, I have never done a meme before and I feel left out so I found this on Allison's blog and thought I would do it.


4 THINGS I did 10 years ago (1998)
Had my first surgery (incendentaly it was a lap surgery looking for endo and none was found)
Got My first Car.
Went on a missions trip in the inner cities of Houston.
Moved out on my own.


4 THINGS I did 5 years ago (2003)

Went to Las Vegas. (first time on a plane)
Started working for myself. (didn't last long)
Met my future husband. (So glad I did he is what made that year great)
Won a Kareoke contest. (pretty neat I thought)

4 THINGS I did yesterday
Talked to my nurse about scheduling a hsg.
Took English final.
Watched Gladiator.
Looked at an apartment with my mom.

4 Shows I love to watch
Grey's Anatomy
Nip/Tuck
Brothers and Sisters
Desperate housewives

4 THINGS I love to do
Fish
Read
Spend time with Husband, family and friends, animals
Play Pogo on computer

So there it is. Whomever wants to partake in this game, I TAG YOU ALL!

BALL GAMES AND MOVIE REVIEWS

Guess what our final consisted of....we had to edit the essay from last week. Yeah the one that caused me to ball like a baby...yep. However, it didn't bother me as much last night so I finished the assignment and I feel I did pretty well.

My plans for this weekend includes lots of chick flicks. I have never watched the movie Gladiator and my husband has been after me for 2 years to watch that movie so he tivo'd last night so I watched it. At first I was thinking about all the crap I needed to do and the 2 hours that I would never get back but then the movie sucked me in and I really enjoyed it. Now, I am not going to act to excited about it because since I watched this Eric owes me some chick movies and will collect!

E has a baseball game tonight and his coach said he is doing so well they want him to play 3rd base. He played that in T-ball and we told her this but I guess he had to prove himself. She called me after he got 2 outs and 3 runs and said she would be moving him from outfield. He was supposed to be hine catcher but the first time he got hit in the goods he told her he was not playing there. He happily plays outfield where his boys are in no danger. I have not told him about him moving I want him to be surprised tonight.

There is something I have not told you about myself..ok here it goes. I am one of THOSE moms. You know the ones that people do not like to sit by at the games. I whoop and holler and jump and pull on my hair its pretty intense. We coached last year so it was better because I was part of the action and I had the best seat in the house and people didn't sit their chairs right in front of my chair and I got to know all the kids. But the rules are so different from t-ball to baseball that we decided to sit back a year, but I think we will coach again next year because I just cant take sitting there. I need the action, the high fives, giving pep talks in the dugout. Eric loves coaching also and he is very good at it. Every time we are at the ballpark kids come up to him from years he has coached and he loves it.

Well gotta get some work done, take care everyone

hystosalpingogram

Well we said that we are taking a break to relieve some stress but we are going to schudule our hsg. The nurse called this morning and said most insurance companies do not cover the procedure but I am pretty sure out of the many conversations I have had with mine they told me it was covered so I will probably need to make a follow-up phone call.

I am rebelling against my body cause I am pissed!! I had a large glass of wine last night and 2 cups of coffee already this morning and it is oh so tasty. Come to think of it I do not have a headache this morning either hmmm can we say addiction?

I am concerned about the hsg and how I will feel afterwards the nurse said it is no big deal but I have not been to the gyno lately and it not be a big deal so I think I will schedule the afternoon off to recoup. If anyone has had this procedure I would be eternally gratefull for any tips or preperation...please and thank you.

I will take my last final tonight and I am done with school for summer. I have an english final and really do not see a way to prepare so I shall just wing it. Better get back to work for a fall back in case I fail. Take care

Another one bites the dust

Nope didn't happen this month.

Trading Dignity for a Dollar

I hope everyone had a good weekend. If I have any readers from Arkansas I am praying that your homes are in tact and your family is safe after the thunderstorms and tornadoes you faced this weekend. I was there in Carlilse after the storm hit and my heart hurt for the families that lost there homes. My in-laws just moved there and we were helping them move and Friday at 1:00 and F2 tornado hit this small town. Thank you Lord that my family was not hit and not so much as a tree limb struck their home. However some homes were completely flattened just 2 streets over. I have never seen anything like it and all I could do was think of the people that lost everything in a matter of minutes. I am thinking about and praying for you.

Now on to the storm in my personal life ie..baby brain. I am 2 days late and would be excited but I just feel my period is immanent and due to many google searches I now know that Clomid can make you late. Plus I have taken a gazillion pregnancy test and they are all negative.

So I make my oh so frequent trip to the Dollar General last night because they have been out of pg tests. I walk up to the counter because apparently some people do not want to pay a dollar they would rather steal the tests so they have to be kept behind the counter and you have to ask for them.

There are a million people in line and I whisper to the lady what I need and she says which one and I say either is fine. I ask how many she has because I am thinking about buying several so I don't have to keep coming back. This is what this happens:

Old lady: hoists up two big boxes on the counter in front of everyone "This enough for you"

Me: "ummm, I was thinking like 3 of them"

Old lady: " here you go it will be $3.25 but I guess you already knew that didn't you?"

Me: "(smile)yeah I am familiar with the price..ha ha" yes i know how much they cost because i buy them every month and obsess just waiting for that extra pink line. I keep coming back so obviously I keep trying and its not working you old bat. Thank you for calling attention to my frequent visits in front of everyone..really i appreciate it.

The test was negative and Eric griped at me for making myself upset at dinner. I said "ya know it doesn't matter if I take the test or not I still feel the same way.

God if you are reading this please do not give me my period on Mother's Day that is my simple prayer.

Prayer

Please pray for my friend Jen. She has had a little scare this morning so please keep her family in your thoughts and prayers.