Friday, May 23, 2008


Many of us have amazing friends from childhood, high school, college, etc. They are the folks that we can count on in a crises. The people that have seen you shoot Dr. Pepper out of you nose while laughing. They (for me) have on a couple of occasions, nursed you back from the brink of death when you discovered warm Coors light at a pasture party (yes I did it more than once). They have also sat beside your bed when your heart was broken and you thought your world was surely crumbling into a million pieces. Some of us are extremely lucky to still have these friends in your life. But, why do these friends suck so hard when it come to infertility?

Why are the incapable of just sitting by your side again? Can they not just hold your hair back and let you spill your word vomit about how much this journey sucks? Is it because they can not relate to it? I mean, we have all had our hearts broken, bad days at work, fat days, bad hair days is that why we can find it in ourselves to console each other?

Things that were said by my best (girl) friend last night:
  • Take so & so supplement as your body may be unhealthy and preventing you from pregnancy (WTF?)
  • Relax (roll eyes)
  • I think you should switch to all organic foods and drink more water. (are you done?)
  • Your body may not be healthy enough to sustain a pregnancy. Even if you get pregnant you might loose it. (Are you freaking kidding me?????)


Io said...

I think there is something about infertility that turns our otherwise fantastic friends into idiots. I have to say, the one saving grace of having a definite diagnosis is I can really tell people who say stuff like that where to shove it.
It may be that we just can't get it until we are there. IF has certainly made me think about how I approach people in all sorts of situations - I figure every issue probably has its own "relax" and I don't want to be the asshole to say it.

Io said...

By the way, speaking of people giving unwelcome assvice, have you talked Eric into having an SA yet? I'd drag his butt down there and make him do it.

Jen said...

One of my friends gave me the "stress causes infertility" (she has no idea that we tried so long, it was just general) and I lit into her. She's changed her mind.

Aunt Becky said...

Wow. That's always so nice to hear! Wow. I'!

I'm sorry dude. It sucks to be the recipient of such ridiculous advice.

Susan said...

I like to believe that our friends mean well. I really do. But they speak before they think.

Alison said...

Wow wow. I don't know what it is either. Logic just goes right out the door. A very good friend who got pg on the second try told me to just stop trying and then it will happen. Oh, b/c that is what you did? So dumb! Sorry that happened, it always surprises me.