Shout Out

I do not have much to say today except:

To all my Blogger Buddies,

You guys are awesome. You are so insightful and funny and I feel like I can relate to so many of you. Cheers to all the great preggo reports this month and Regrets for all the loss and disappointments for others this month. My life has been enriched since the first day I started my blog.

I love you guys I really do. I hope everyone has a kick-ass weekend.

Much Love,
Marie

Early bird

Ok, I woke up this morning so sure that my period will start today. I had horrid cramps and lower back pain. As you know I haven't been keeping track of anything this month because I just sick to death of disappointment. Anyhoo, when I got to work I was going back over my posts and I am only on cd23. I don't know if old flo hag is coming early or what. My bewbs are so sore they woke me up when I would roll over last night so....

I am making a list of all the things I get to do on vacation if I am not pregnant. That way when she shows up I will not be too disappointed

1. Drink margaritas at Mitiera's
2. Hang upside down at Fiesta Texas (so very excited about this)
3. Tan my white self for the trip due to wearing a bathing suit.
4. espresso shots to hang with my kiddo through two days of amusement parks.
5. IBUPROFEN
6. I would say less hormonal but I don't really know about that one as I am always pretty hormonal.

My baby is home

Summer is bittersweet for because E goes back and forth from me to his dad every week. Well, this past week was a long one because the weekend before last was Father's day with his father automatically gets and then it was his week. I was completely without child for 11 days. I did see him some for scout day camp and things like that but it was still very hard.

I feel that I do not fit sometimes. On one hand I am a mom and have a child at home and have the family dinners and vacations and such. Then half the time it is just me and Eric wishing the house was not so quiet.

I could blog about parenting and joint custody and all the hardships that includes.

I also have the overwhelming desire to blog about wanting another child and being a full time mom sharing the joys with Eric.

See how I really do not seem to have a niche?

So what will I do about it? I will not label myself and blog about whatever is on my mind any given day. The joys of being my little one's mother, the wonderful quiet moments with my husband and the struggles of not being able to expand our family.

Right now I am pretty content and happy knowing that my son will be home all week. I totally spoil him after not seeing him for a week. I let him stay up late and we eat pizza. Last night we sat in the bed and ate pop-ice and watched Hannah Montana(he like the show because "she is hot".) I woke up the light snoring and to my child taking up THE WHOLE bed it was good.

We are going to Sea World in two weeks and I found out that they have sleepovers we are going to suprise him by letting him go one night while are there. I am excited but a little nervous but I know that he will have a great time.

Oh and I am half-way through my two-week wait and didnt even know it.

I love these

Don't

Do not insinuate to your husband that you want a baby more than he does because chances are you are wrong and it is hurtful. You will also think about it for days and feel really bad.

MY EYES!!!

Well Eric and I had some much needed time together tonight. Dinner and a movie in the next po dunk town over.

The dinner review: We decided to try a fish place that we have seen several times and never been there. Now I live in a small town so we don't have things like sushi or any of that fancy stuff. If you want anything better than Apple bees, Chilli's, or Red Lobster you have to drive into Dallas. We are usually trying to find some new place for variety so this fish place seemed to fit the bill. Well....it sucked greasy grimy goffer guts (so sorry for that but I have worked a boyscout camp all week and this description totally fits.) Everything was really sweet as if they had added sugar to every recipe. The food was cold and, besides the sugar, had no flavor. Also for what we spent we should have went to Red Lobster and...we could have had cocktails.

The movie: Well I finally got to watch Sex and the City. Now, before you start talking ugly about me draggin Eric, it was his idea. My poor husband was one of the only two men in the theatre. However, he did watch the movie and he didn't make fun of it like I totally would if we were watching something he wanted that I didn't like. I though all was well and as we were driving out of the parking lot he said, "Does Wal-mart have those things that washes your eyes?"
"My eyes actually need an enema after watching that movie."

I for one thought the movie was great. I had heard mixed reviews and was very curious being addicted to the TBS version. There were several points that I actually had tears in my eyes and I also laughed big belly laughs a couple of times so I would recommend it. However, save your hubby and bring a girlfriend. My husband came home and went straight to bed which makes me think he may be to emasculated to give me any. A great date movie? I think not, Oh well

Sweet Dreams
Marie

lard ass

Why do Capri pants make my ass feel so huge?????

Signed,
Jumbo Butt

This Lily

This star-gazer lily is my first garden success. It is my absolute favorite flower. It is always included in the bouquets that my husband picks for me on any occasion. It was the main flower in my bridal bouquet that my husband had made and brought to me right before I walked down the aisle because he read that the groom is supposed to buy the bouquet. It was included in the bouquet that was sent to my office from our main office because of a good job I did in a big promotion we had.

Whenever I look at it I am reminded of the great things in my life. The smell is sweet and subtle just like my husband. The colors are just my taste.

Now I have these flowers by my front door to look at everyday and be reminded of all the great things in my life.

I forgot

Holy Crap, I forgot the best part of my weekend. I have been wanting this mixer FOREVER. My wonderful, sweet, giving, funny, sexy husband got me one. Thank you honey!! I love you so much.

Avon sunblock is a don't

Our Fathers Day weekend was great. Both of our dads were at our house and Eric and I made steak and eggs for breakfast. I then took my dad (and step-mom) fishing. I was kind of bummed at first becuase I wanted some alone dad time but it was ok and she never been fishing with him before and she had a really good time. Shawn and his dad stayed home and watched a movie and the race. We then grilled hamburges and brauts(sp?) for dinner. All in All it was a great weekend.

While fishing I used avon sunblock that also repels bugs. Well, I do not have any bug bites but I have a massive sunburn on my shoulders. My advice, don't skip a step use a good sunblock and insect repellant.

Are you sure?

setting the stage: Saturday afternoon, leaving town and have been driving about 30 minutes. We were going to get paint for E's room and we had been messing around all day and it was already 3pm.

Marie: Crap!!!

Eric: What?

Marie: We forgot to get the clomid prescription and I need to start it in the morning and the pharmacy will be closed. I knew we were going to do this.

Eric: "Well I guess I will turn around at the next exit and we will go get it".

Marie: Well it is already too late we are not going to be able to get the room painted. doing the period math in my head " What is your work schedule next week because we have to do it like 5 days to make sure we do not miss it."

Eric: I have to be at work at 7 the next two weeks.

Marie: Well you wanna just skip this month because I don't get home till about 6:30 so that will not work.

Eric: uhh its up to you honey.

Marie: Yea let's not waste it let's just wait.

Eric: Are you sure? I need to exit right up here and I don't want you to get all mad and say I don't care if I pass it.

Marie: I won't get mad.

Eric: Are you sure? (slowing down to exit)

Marie: Yea (lip starts to tremble)

Eric: We can turn around (he starts veering towards exit and slowing down more)

Marie: No really don't turn around. Your parents are coming and you are working and we have things going on. We can wait it is no big deal.

Eric: OK (speeds up and passes exit)

Marie: ....SIGHS....(turns and faces the window.)

Eric: (under his breath) Dammit I knew it. SIGH

Girl Crush?

OK so I have been absent for a few days and I have a really good reason, I do I promise. Meet Ashley, one of the funniest bloggers I have found. I found her blog and have been a total psycho reading all posts. If I find a really great blog I have to go back from the beginning I guess I am an ocd blogger who knew? I am not ocd about anything ever I am a total slacker but I am getting off topic here. So Ashley is it this chick is HIlarious! She says things like Hella-pissed and fucktard. I have never had a girl crush and while she openly admits to having them I am just not in that place. BUT, If I were to HAVE a girl crush SHE would be it. I know for some who read this blog it is hard to read mommy blogs but hers is so much more. I believe if you check her out you will not be sorry.

My in-laws are here this week also so I have been spending time with them. They are moving here and are looking for a place. I am very excited I think they are the bees knees, hee hee just wanted to say that. I was really close to telling my mom-in-law about my blog but I just don't think I can yet. I would NEVER tell my mother. I love her but we are VERY different and I just would not be comfortable nor would she. We lightly touch on my fears of infertility time to time but there is not an openness(?) like there is with mom-in-law. I will call mom-in-law lady p cause I think that is cute. We bonded super fast and get along great. I really love Mr. P too. My husband is a carbon copy of him so it is fun to see what he is going to be like later in life. I think the move here will be great for all of us.

Well I gotta get off here and go to bed,

Take care
Marie

Gold Nuggets

I feel a whole lot better today. I started to stay in bed this morning but then I thought about E's baseball game and new that I couldn't skip work and show up there so I got up and got dressed and you know what? I am glad I did. Today is not so bad. I have terrible cramps not the, ugg my tummy hurts and i am a little bloated. I have the, holy crap this must be what it feels like to be kicked in the nuts, kind of pain. But...wanna here the silver lining? Even though I am not to thrilled with my new highly recommended gyno, I (heart) his nurse. She has called me in some Vicodan and I will be picking it up in about an hour.

I also called to set up Eric's appointment with the sperm analyzer. He will not be in the office until Monday. I did ,however, have the pleasure of speaking to his nurse who I do not (heart) yet. Apparently they will not even bill insurance for this because they NEVER pay for it. I tried to tell her that my insurance company pays for weird things and they covered my hsg at 100%. She said "Good for you but we are still not billing them." I asked her how much this cost and are you ready????



600 smackers.

This seems high to me but since we have never had this done. Is it high? Did anyone else have insurance cover it? I just don't want to do it here when we could drive about 45 mins where there are more competition and it be cheaper. If you have any advice I would be very grateful.

SHE'S HERE

Another month, another dissapointment, another crack in my heart, another unanswered prayer.

I really do not know how much more of this I can take.

Superman

Well I missed the NaComLeaveMo by about 12 hours I am such the procrastinator but.. I have been reading all the awesome blogs that made the cut. They are awesome I really encourage you to head over there and check out some of these great blogs. I have added a couple of great ones to my list of must reads.

We spent Saturday at Six Flags and had a wonderful time. I love love love six flags. We bought season passes and this was our first trip of the summer. I woke up at 6:30 and ran to my sons room and proceeded to jump on his bed singing the six flags theme song. (You know on the commercial where the old man is dancing?) We got ready in record time and were out the door ready for some action.

Now let me tell you some things about E. He is extremely cautious. He will not go skateboarding without a helmet. He always wears his safety belt and it terrified of the air bag because the caution sticker says you have to be 12 to ride with the air bag on. He asks me every time we get in the car if his air bag is turned off because he does not want to die. He does not like air planes and hopes to never have to go anywhere that requires us to have to ride in one.

I have this unnatural desired to hang upside down and plummet several stories at super high speeds. I like all the rides big or small, and I just want to share this joy with my child. He would have not part of it. He did ride some but said he would ride all the others when he turned 16.

We had a great time anyway though. I plan on working on him this summer. I even offered the boy money so we shall see.

As far as the fertile chase goes there is not much to tell. I did take it easy at six flags just in case well that and the fact I had no riding partner but I don't have much hope. Aunt flo was kicking the shit out of my uterus this morning so she is not far away.