Thursday, August 7, 2008

Dear Ralph

Dear Ralph Lauren,

I took half of summer to find just the right swim suit. I scoured the Internet and every store in town. I tried on 2 dozen. Some reduced me to tears and some were just not quite right. Some would have worked but I just didn't feel like they were the one for me.

Well It was a blistering hot day in July and I was sweetly telling (bugging the shit out of) Eric that I would not be able to participate in our vacational activities if I did not find a swim suit. He stopped at hillsborro outlet strip mall and (dumped me out) quietly insisted that I could not get back in the car until I had a swim suit in my hand.

Your store was the first store that I came to. I walked in and was greeted by your lovely (size 2) sales girl who directed me to your rack of swim wear.

That is when I saw it. It was speaking to me from the hanger. I grabbed my size(none of your beez wax) and went to the dressing room. FYI it is not nice to have the sales lady stand out side when you are trying to wriggle around in the dressing room while putting on a bathing suit. Anyway, I love love loved it. The fit was great, it was slimming I could not ask for a better suit.

I am an ample bosomed woman and here in lies the problem. There is the tiniest foam pad in the lining of the booby area. I am assuming this is to cover headlights but really it doesn't do that so being that a full figure woman usually doesn't need padding; I think you should just not have that in there.

If you must keep the padding do something so that is does not fold in half while wearing said suit so that we do not look like we have a pack of matches covering out boobies. I don't know about anyone else but I would rather have high beams than someone to think that I am storing something in there.

I hope you consider what I have said and use my advice in your designs next summer.

Thanks a bunch


Jen said...

I hate shopping for swim suits. My current one is six years old.

Aunt Becky said...

I want a boob reduction stat.

Anonymous said...

I have a Ralph t-shirt with really cool graphic print that I adore. It's plus sized and cut perfectly to hide arm flab while still being the shortest sleeves I own. I love it! And, I cannot find any more of them anywhere! Talk about frustrating! Every time I'm in a store I hope I'll find another one like it. I know he makes them. :(

Amber said...

congrats on finding a suit! I have the opposite problem. No boobs at all.

alicia said...

ahhhh swim suit shopping is the worst kind! love the letter!

thanks for your comments! you are awesome