Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Why?

Why did you leave her?

Why did you leave a home, while not without problems, was loving and safe. And better yet, CLEAN.

Why did you throw away 24 years with someone that knows you better than you could ever know yourself?

Why did you tell me first?

Why did you tell me on Thanksgiving day?

Why did you stay outside on the phone all night in Wal-Mart parking lot talking to another woman while we stayed up all night cooking for you?

Why did you expect me to have lunch with you two and be her friend?

Why did you give her hope when you knew it was over?

Why did you expect me to sit with you as a witness in your divorce

Why did you meet someone so quickly that was so unlike her?

Why did you get married 3 months after your divorce and expect me to be in the wedding?

Why did you not notice that I came to the wedding blitzed out of my mind fighting back tears.

Why did you shove me on them every chance you got?

Why did you become dad to her children so easily?

Why did you become pepaw to him too?

Why did turn your career to shit?

Why is your house so gross that I can't stand eating there and letting my child play there?

Why are you so oblivious to the abnormalty that is your life?

Why did you not see me give up?

Where were you when my world started to shatter?

Why didn't you see when I stopped trusting in forever?

Why didn't you do something when I started hating God?

How can you still profess to be any kind of minister?

How can you not see how much you have hurt me these last few years?

How did you really expect Thanksgiving to go?

How do you ever think that she will be comfortable in the same room with you again?

How are you ever going to get back the years you are missing in our lives?

How is it that I do not hate you.

How do you sleep at night?

Why can I not ask you these questions?

3 comments:

The Muser (aka Beautiful Mama) said...

Wow. I can relate to some of the pain you express here. I'm so sorry. :( Hope you're being gentle with yourself post-bad-Thanksgiving.

Ophelia said...

{{{HUGS}}}

Morgan said...

I don't know what this post means but I'm going to guess something not so good is happening in your personal life. I'm here to listen, HUGS!