Fourteen days into 2009 (subsequently,Eric's birthday) we were overjoyed with an ounce of pee and a plastic stick. Panicked a week later when I was put on bed rest for what a appeared to be a threatened miscarriage. Each week as I grew a little person in my body, we learned more about ourselves and each other with each new step we took towards meeting our baby boy.
This whole year has been broken down into weeks as we approach the end or week 53, I can honestly say I will be sad to see the end.
I look back at the end of 2008 and the contrast is SCARY.
Faith and whole lot of luck brought us through 2008 and Hope rocketed us through 2009.
2009 made Eric and I a team. Just when I thought we couldn't be any closer, 8 pounds and 11 ounces added another layer of cement to our foundation. We work as one and its really pretty awesome. We are big piles of mush these days.
"Look he smiled"
"He waved, I don't think he means too, maybe he does, we must have a *genius baby".
Our family has come a long way baby.
I hope 2010 is packed with just as many memories.
A shit ton of smiles and only happy tears...
*The genius baby's mother couldn't spell genius..thanks spellchecker, you asshole.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Mooo
Everyday I sit in my vehicle pumping milk for the next day at work. I always wonder if someone is watching and knows what I am doing. I feel sorry for them if they are trying to catch a boob shot because the sight of my boobs would deter anyone who has never nursed a baby to start stocking up on formula NOW.
I am pretty happy about the way breast feeding is going though. I always said I would do it unless there was major problems or if it really hurt. I am a baby so sue me. I had a really ruff time feeding E and knew that I didn't want to go through that stress.
But I never had any trouble at all. No soreness or bleeding. Conner took to the boob like he knew exactly what to do. I have always had plenty of milk. Now that he is getting bigger I don't exactly have a freezer full but we always have enough for the next day. Nothing I eat seems to bother him and he has no trouble using a bottle during the day and then switching to me at night.
We have started cereal and stage 1 baby foods. My kid is hungry yo. I was going to wait until the 4 month mark but he started staring so intently at our food and MOVING his mouth like he was eating that I felt sorry for him. We started with a little cereal and he LOVED it. He even makes mmmm sounds. SO. CUTE.
Now we have cereal in the morning and a veggie at night and he still drinks about 30 ounces of breast milk a day.
So I guess we will keep plugging along like we are going until any problems like, umm, TEETH.
I am pretty happy about the way breast feeding is going though. I always said I would do it unless there was major problems or if it really hurt. I am a baby so sue me. I had a really ruff time feeding E and knew that I didn't want to go through that stress.
But I never had any trouble at all. No soreness or bleeding. Conner took to the boob like he knew exactly what to do. I have always had plenty of milk. Now that he is getting bigger I don't exactly have a freezer full but we always have enough for the next day. Nothing I eat seems to bother him and he has no trouble using a bottle during the day and then switching to me at night.
We have started cereal and stage 1 baby foods. My kid is hungry yo. I was going to wait until the 4 month mark but he started staring so intently at our food and MOVING his mouth like he was eating that I felt sorry for him. We started with a little cereal and he LOVED it. He even makes mmmm sounds. SO. CUTE.
Now we have cereal in the morning and a veggie at night and he still drinks about 30 ounces of breast milk a day.
So I guess we will keep plugging along like we are going until any problems like, umm, TEETH.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Teen Mom on MTV makes me want to rip my eyeballs out every time I watch it, but for some reason I still have to watch. I just want to give them all a good spanking and not the good kind.
Christmas was great! We stayed home together for the whole holiday and if anyone wanted to see us they came here. I actually had dinner with both my parents and their significant others AT THE SAME TIME. It was a little awkward, but nothing a little wine and rum couldn't handle.
I haven't talked about it much but my parents divorce kinda screwed me up a little. I was 23 and thought my parents would be together forever. Sure they argued from time to time and couldn't exactly be called the Cleavers, but my dad loved my mom, my mom loved my dad.
I am not really sure what all happened, but I do know that I was put in the middle of the divorce and learned WAY too much about the problems in their marriage.
They are now rebuilding THEIR lives with new WEIRDO love and I am left trying to have a relationship with them and their new WEIRDO lovers. It's fun.
Hopefully one day we will work out the kinks and I will feel like I actually HAVE parents that want to be there for me. Who not only worry about themselves and their happiness, but actually give a rats ass about my feelings. I guess I should just be happy that I got to grow up before they decided to go crazy or I don't know who would have taken care of me.
Despite the quirky relationships, I am happy that I got to spend Christmas with both of them. I do love them. Very much.
I do have parents though. I have another mom who is my best friend and confidant. Who doesn't judge me and offers advice HELPFULLY and not HURTFULLY. She is beautiful and awesome and I love her. She didn't give birth to me but she did give birth to my husband so I get her by default and I am very lucky.
My other Dad is pretty great too. He cooks for me when I am sick and loves and takes care of my children. He's got my back and I love him.
So I hope everyone had a great Christmas and enjoyed putting up with your wacky relatives. Here's to New Years. The holiday were it is expected of you to walk around with a drink in your hand.
Christmas was great! We stayed home together for the whole holiday and if anyone wanted to see us they came here. I actually had dinner with both my parents and their significant others AT THE SAME TIME. It was a little awkward, but nothing a little wine and rum couldn't handle.
I haven't talked about it much but my parents divorce kinda screwed me up a little. I was 23 and thought my parents would be together forever. Sure they argued from time to time and couldn't exactly be called the Cleavers, but my dad loved my mom, my mom loved my dad.
I am not really sure what all happened, but I do know that I was put in the middle of the divorce and learned WAY too much about the problems in their marriage.
They are now rebuilding THEIR lives with new WEIRDO love and I am left trying to have a relationship with them and their new WEIRDO lovers. It's fun.
Hopefully one day we will work out the kinks and I will feel like I actually HAVE parents that want to be there for me. Who not only worry about themselves and their happiness, but actually give a rats ass about my feelings. I guess I should just be happy that I got to grow up before they decided to go crazy or I don't know who would have taken care of me.
Despite the quirky relationships, I am happy that I got to spend Christmas with both of them. I do love them. Very much.
I do have parents though. I have another mom who is my best friend and confidant. Who doesn't judge me and offers advice HELPFULLY and not HURTFULLY. She is beautiful and awesome and I love her. She didn't give birth to me but she did give birth to my husband so I get her by default and I am very lucky.
My other Dad is pretty great too. He cooks for me when I am sick and loves and takes care of my children. He's got my back and I love him.
So I hope everyone had a great Christmas and enjoyed putting up with your wacky relatives. Here's to New Years. The holiday were it is expected of you to walk around with a drink in your hand.
Monday, December 21, 2009
So this woman walks into a..
Have you ever had the dream where you walk into work naked?
Yeah, me too.
I walked into my office today running late getting back from lunch (as usual).They were waiting on me to get back as they needed some papers on my desk for a customer. So everyone was looking at me when I walked in the door.
I breeze in and everyone is just staring.
I look down and what do I have in my hand?
My portable breast pump.
I had been in a hurry when I jumped in the car and I guess I never sat it down I just had it in my hand while I was driving. So when I got out of the car I just carried it into work with me. I usually pump in my car in the afternoon since my office is so small that there is really no place for me to go.
Geeeod that sucks. So, do you think they knew what it was? I mean, the bell on it all but has a sign that says, "Put boobie here".
I shoved it under my desk as quickly as possible. Trying to only look a little mortified. Now it is sitting under my desk with my coat on top of it.
I forgot my purse so It looks like I will be carrying out the way I brought it in.
GAH! It's a good thing this is a short week.
Yeah, me too.
I walked into my office today running late getting back from lunch (as usual).They were waiting on me to get back as they needed some papers on my desk for a customer. So everyone was looking at me when I walked in the door.
I breeze in and everyone is just staring.
I look down and what do I have in my hand?
My portable breast pump.
I had been in a hurry when I jumped in the car and I guess I never sat it down I just had it in my hand while I was driving. So when I got out of the car I just carried it into work with me. I usually pump in my car in the afternoon since my office is so small that there is really no place for me to go.
Geeeod that sucks. So, do you think they knew what it was? I mean, the bell on it all but has a sign that says, "Put boobie here".
I shoved it under my desk as quickly as possible. Trying to only look a little mortified. Now it is sitting under my desk with my coat on top of it.
I forgot my purse so It looks like I will be carrying out the way I brought it in.
GAH! It's a good thing this is a short week.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Party Planner
I just adore people that can take a picture and capture a story or a feeling. The lighting is always perfect and even just a simple picture of a hand can make you weepy. My husband is one of those people.
He can take a pic of the kids that make me feel warm and fuzzy and I can stand in the exact same spot just seconds later and take the SAME shot and it is just a picture.
I spent 30 minutes trying to practice taking pictures of the baby while he was sleeping and I just couldn't get it right.
Then I forgot my camera completely when I went to E's Christmas party.
I think that is going to be one of my New Years resolutions is to get more familiar with my camera and not let so many moments pass me by.
Yesterday E was the little baby snoozing in my bed or so its feel like it. But no, that was 9 years ago. Nine years from today I hope I remember my new sons soft chubby cheek, covered with his chubby little hand while sleeping peacefully just as vividly as if I would have captured it perfectly on my camera.
I hope when E walks across the stage to receive his diploma, that I remember the scowl from his little pre-preteen face when I absent-mindedly kissed him on the top of his head, in front of all his friends at his Christmas party today. Also, I want to remember the little smile following the scowl that told me he secretly liked it.
I also hope the mother the made the pigs in a blanket remembers to use crescent rolls next time and wasn't too offended when E told the class that mine were so much better. But I hope that he knows that even though I gave him THAT LOOK, I secretly appreciated the complement.
And you really should use crescent rolls when you make pigs in a blanket..they are better.
He can take a pic of the kids that make me feel warm and fuzzy and I can stand in the exact same spot just seconds later and take the SAME shot and it is just a picture.
I spent 30 minutes trying to practice taking pictures of the baby while he was sleeping and I just couldn't get it right.
Then I forgot my camera completely when I went to E's Christmas party.
I think that is going to be one of my New Years resolutions is to get more familiar with my camera and not let so many moments pass me by.
Yesterday E was the little baby snoozing in my bed or so its feel like it. But no, that was 9 years ago. Nine years from today I hope I remember my new sons soft chubby cheek, covered with his chubby little hand while sleeping peacefully just as vividly as if I would have captured it perfectly on my camera.
I hope when E walks across the stage to receive his diploma, that I remember the scowl from his little pre-preteen face when I absent-mindedly kissed him on the top of his head, in front of all his friends at his Christmas party today. Also, I want to remember the little smile following the scowl that told me he secretly liked it.
I also hope the mother the made the pigs in a blanket remembers to use crescent rolls next time and wasn't too offended when E told the class that mine were so much better. But I hope that he knows that even though I gave him THAT LOOK, I secretly appreciated the complement.
And you really should use crescent rolls when you make pigs in a blanket..they are better.
Monday, December 14, 2009
'O' Yeah
Dear Reebok,
While laying in bed eating my Pizza Collision Doritos and drinking my sweet tea and watching Friends, I saw your commercial for these:
I have to know do they really make your ass look better? Really?
Do they really tone up your legs while you are just casually walking around the house or do you have to use them to hike and run? I mean will they work just being on my feet? Like if I put them on and just stood they poking my ass out like the lady in the commercial. Are they working then?
What about when I am watching tv?
I need to know this before I make the purchase.
At a hundred bucks I need to know that they will do what you say in the commercial. If I can get my butt to look HALF as good as the lady in the commercial then we can get Eric on board. If not I am just going to buy another pair of $45 Adidas
Thank you in advance for appeasing my inquiring mind. Oh yeah, do those little black shorts she wears come with the purchase? If so, I am going to need a little bit bigger size than she is wearing I am sure. After all she OBVIOUSLY has already been wearing her shoes quite a bit.
Sincerely,
Marie at That Special Water.
Dear Frito-Lay,
Because of your Pizza Collision Doritos, I have to order special ass toning shoes. Enclosed is a bill for $50.00.
I am only holding you half responsible for the spreading as I am sure I am half at fault for eating said chips. Its takes two, Frito-Lay, that I know. If you didn't make your Pizza Collision Doritos SO Delicious and now EASIER TO FIND, then we would not be having this conversation.
I need payment by Christmas but if you can't handle the claim by then I will take the money no later than Jan 1st because I don't really see myself worrying TOO much about ass until then.
Thanks so much,
Marie at That Special Water.
While laying in bed eating my Pizza Collision Doritos and drinking my sweet tea and watching Friends, I saw your commercial for these:
I have to know do they really make your ass look better? Really?
Do they really tone up your legs while you are just casually walking around the house or do you have to use them to hike and run? I mean will they work just being on my feet? Like if I put them on and just stood they poking my ass out like the lady in the commercial. Are they working then?
What about when I am watching tv?
I need to know this before I make the purchase.
At a hundred bucks I need to know that they will do what you say in the commercial. If I can get my butt to look HALF as good as the lady in the commercial then we can get Eric on board. If not I am just going to buy another pair of $45 Adidas
Thank you in advance for appeasing my inquiring mind. Oh yeah, do those little black shorts she wears come with the purchase? If so, I am going to need a little bit bigger size than she is wearing I am sure. After all she OBVIOUSLY has already been wearing her shoes quite a bit.
Sincerely,
Marie at That Special Water.
Dear Frito-Lay,
Because of your Pizza Collision Doritos, I have to order special ass toning shoes. Enclosed is a bill for $50.00.
I am only holding you half responsible for the spreading as I am sure I am half at fault for eating said chips. Its takes two, Frito-Lay, that I know. If you didn't make your Pizza Collision Doritos SO Delicious and now EASIER TO FIND, then we would not be having this conversation.
I need payment by Christmas but if you can't handle the claim by then I will take the money no later than Jan 1st because I don't really see myself worrying TOO much about ass until then.
Thanks so much,
Marie at That Special Water.
Friday, December 11, 2009
The shit that runs through my head
I am so glad that Conner's poop schedule is so that I don't have to change those blowouts. (Thank you Nana)
My grandfather sorta looks like Hugh Hefner and he is a minister. I wonder if anyone else has ever noticed that?
I can't wait to go see Christmas lights tonight.
I wonder if we will have to pull over so I can breast feed.
It's weird how I don't think anything about whipping out a tit in front of Eric's dad.
I would never do that in front of my own dad.
I think it would be weird to breast feed if I had a daughter.
We call Conner a boob man.
That's just weird.
My grandfather sorta looks like Hugh Hefner and he is a minister. I wonder if anyone else has ever noticed that?
I can't wait to go see Christmas lights tonight.
I wonder if we will have to pull over so I can breast feed.
It's weird how I don't think anything about whipping out a tit in front of Eric's dad.
I would never do that in front of my own dad.
I think it would be weird to breast feed if I had a daughter.
We call Conner a boob man.
That's just weird.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Christmas
15 days till Christmas and I have bought exactly 3 gifts and a few stocking stuffers. I don't feel guilty. I don't feel the anxious about no gifts under the tree. I feel peace.
It's not really about the money even though with being off of work with NO maternity leave pay has left us kind of low on cash, its because our family has everything we could ever need.
Sure there are still some "Santa" gifts to buy but for the most part I am just enjoying the holiday for what it is supposed to be.
The tree is up and our lights outside are beautiful (thanks babe). We are watching Christmas movies and drinking hot chocolate. We went and saw Santa. My children and husband will get time from me this Christmas. Love, hugs and kisses. We will not over schedule ourselves and get crazy about where we go and who we see. There will be no expensive electronics or hot toys that will be forgotten by January, but I hope the memories we give them will last through the year.
My plans are to spend time with E this weekend making cookies and family gifts in our kitchen and family game night.
Next weekend Eric and I will spend Saturday shopping for all of our Christmas gifts we plan to buy while Conner spends the day and night(gulp) with his grandparents and Sunday I will watch E sing in the Christmas play at his church.
This Christmas I feel complete.
It's not really about the money even though with being off of work with NO maternity leave pay has left us kind of low on cash, its because our family has everything we could ever need.
Sure there are still some "Santa" gifts to buy but for the most part I am just enjoying the holiday for what it is supposed to be.
The tree is up and our lights outside are beautiful (thanks babe). We are watching Christmas movies and drinking hot chocolate. We went and saw Santa. My children and husband will get time from me this Christmas. Love, hugs and kisses. We will not over schedule ourselves and get crazy about where we go and who we see. There will be no expensive electronics or hot toys that will be forgotten by January, but I hope the memories we give them will last through the year.
My plans are to spend time with E this weekend making cookies and family gifts in our kitchen and family game night.
Next weekend Eric and I will spend Saturday shopping for all of our Christmas gifts we plan to buy while Conner spends the day and night(gulp) with his grandparents and Sunday I will watch E sing in the Christmas play at his church.
This Christmas I feel complete.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Six Shooter
Continued from here
So as everyone ELSE enjoying their pizza I am playing with my Chicken's bath water. Eric offered me a bite of his pizza and I thought one little bite won't do anything so I partook. Ok it wasn't a little bite so much as half a slice but I did consume it in one bite so that counts right?
I still felt great. No pain, but no gas either.
I napped a little.
Then walked.
Drank more sprite and ate more ice chips.
Then after night nurse left and the baby and Eric were sleeping I had a teeeny little cookie.
Still felt great.
The next morning I am in the bathroom showering and I come out to a covered dish. Eric and the nurse were talking and I thought I am not touching that shit they probably dipped an egg in water and expect me to eat that. But as I got closer I realized it was EGGS, BACON, BISCUITS, JELLY, BUTTER. I start to get the tray ready and the nurse says, "That is your husbands plate since he gets one meal."
BLINK BLINK
"What?" Where is Marie's bacon and eggs?!?!?!
You still can't eat if you have not passed gas. Have you?
"Yes, Yes I did".
"Are you sure?" (I am a totally bad liar) I hung my head in shame and said "NO, I still can't go but I feel great so I think I could handle some eggs."
"I can't give you anything your doctor insists that you pass gas first. You can ask him when he makes his rounds but let me give you something in your iv that might help you along. Keep eating your ice chips and drinking.
The Dr. came in and was checking me out and I was all I feel fine. Just don't have any gas.
You pass gas or no eat (My Dr is Korean, and I have no clue how to do a Korean accent in print so just imagine him talking in Korean.mmkay? Its funnier that way)
"Very important you pass gas".
"What happens if I don't?" I asked.
"You will"
"If I don't?"
"No food"
"So what if I don't pass gas and eat. What would happen?"
"You could get distended bowel"
I did not like the sound of that.
"We have to put tube down your throat or open you back up".
I REALLY didn't like the sound of that. Cue pure terror on my face.
Dr. left I started feeling rumblings in my tummy.
Then the first gas pain hit.
"HOLY MOTHER OF FRANCES THAT HURT" I huffed.
Then all hell broke loose. I started crying hysterically.
"Its the PIZZA AND THE COOKIES. I am getting distended bowel and I am going to DIIIIE".
"Conner won't have a mother because I couldn't listen to my Dr."
It was bad. I have never in my life felt pain like that. The nurse came in and everyone was instruct out of the room. My eyes were glazed over and I was loosing my shit people. Almost out of it so much that I didn't see the bag the looked surprisingly similar to the enema bag that assaulted me with the day before. ALMOST. "Wait, What's that".
I stopped my fit and locked eyes with my nurse and said "Please tell me that is not what I think it it."
She didn't back down, the scrappy little thing. "You have trapped gas"
I had NEVER heard that term but I didn't like it.
"We are hoping the enema will help you release it".
At this point I was in so much pain and in no position to plead or bargain so I did what I could do to assume the position. She not only administered the WHOLE bag but then had to ROLL me from side to side. It was the most undignified thing. EVER.
Happy ending though.
The gas was released and I am here to blog about it.
Funny asside. Did you know that the ice chips at the hospital have air blown in them? Yeah they do that for a reason. Ice chips ARE THE DEVIL.
So as everyone ELSE enjoying their pizza I am playing with my Chicken's bath water. Eric offered me a bite of his pizza and I thought one little bite won't do anything so I partook. Ok it wasn't a little bite so much as half a slice but I did consume it in one bite so that counts right?
I still felt great. No pain, but no gas either.
I napped a little.
Then walked.
Drank more sprite and ate more ice chips.
Then after night nurse left and the baby and Eric were sleeping I had a teeeny little cookie.
Still felt great.
The next morning I am in the bathroom showering and I come out to a covered dish. Eric and the nurse were talking and I thought I am not touching that shit they probably dipped an egg in water and expect me to eat that. But as I got closer I realized it was EGGS, BACON, BISCUITS, JELLY, BUTTER. I start to get the tray ready and the nurse says, "That is your husbands plate since he gets one meal."
BLINK BLINK
"What?" Where is Marie's bacon and eggs?!?!?!
You still can't eat if you have not passed gas. Have you?
"Yes, Yes I did".
"Are you sure?" (I am a totally bad liar) I hung my head in shame and said "NO, I still can't go but I feel great so I think I could handle some eggs."
"I can't give you anything your doctor insists that you pass gas first. You can ask him when he makes his rounds but let me give you something in your iv that might help you along. Keep eating your ice chips and drinking.
The Dr. came in and was checking me out and I was all I feel fine. Just don't have any gas.
You pass gas or no eat (My Dr is Korean, and I have no clue how to do a Korean accent in print so just imagine him talking in Korean.mmkay? Its funnier that way)
"Very important you pass gas".
"What happens if I don't?" I asked.
"You will"
"If I don't?"
"No food"
"So what if I don't pass gas and eat. What would happen?"
"You could get distended bowel"
I did not like the sound of that.
"We have to put tube down your throat or open you back up".
I REALLY didn't like the sound of that. Cue pure terror on my face.
Dr. left I started feeling rumblings in my tummy.
Then the first gas pain hit.
"HOLY MOTHER OF FRANCES THAT HURT" I huffed.
Then all hell broke loose. I started crying hysterically.
"Its the PIZZA AND THE COOKIES. I am getting distended bowel and I am going to DIIIIE".
"Conner won't have a mother because I couldn't listen to my Dr."
It was bad. I have never in my life felt pain like that. The nurse came in and everyone was instruct out of the room. My eyes were glazed over and I was loosing my shit people. Almost out of it so much that I didn't see the bag the looked surprisingly similar to the enema bag that assaulted me with the day before. ALMOST. "Wait, What's that".
I stopped my fit and locked eyes with my nurse and said "Please tell me that is not what I think it it."
She didn't back down, the scrappy little thing. "You have trapped gas"
I had NEVER heard that term but I didn't like it.
"We are hoping the enema will help you release it".
At this point I was in so much pain and in no position to plead or bargain so I did what I could do to assume the position. She not only administered the WHOLE bag but then had to ROLL me from side to side. It was the most undignified thing. EVER.
Happy ending though.
The gas was released and I am here to blog about it.
Funny asside. Did you know that the ice chips at the hospital have air blown in them? Yeah they do that for a reason. Ice chips ARE THE DEVIL.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Don't pop the bubble wrap.
"Do NOT pop the bubble wrap in the front seat because I need that".
"Oooooh, we have bubble wrap?"
"Marie, I am serious. Don't."
This is a permanent character flaw for me. When someone says do not do something, well, that's really all I think about doing. Why Eric doesn't KNOW this after 6 years I have no clue. As I drove to work this morning I stared at the tempting, air filled bubbles, just waiting to be popped. To make matters worse I get stopped by a train. I am not going to say that ALL the bubbles remained in tact, but Eric should still be able to ship his package safely...
I do have a point here. This post is not all about bubble wrap. No. It's really about farting. Put your honey bun down because this will probably get just a little graphic.
The Baby C (we still need a nickname) was scheduled to be born Sept 16th at 7:30 am. Thank the Lord I didn't have to wait for the second delivery slot which was at 11:30. I was not allowed to eat anything after midnight.
Now due to my very rebellious issues and the fact that I was on an eat every time my mouth opened schedule, I was worried about the lack of food that would NOT be shoveled into my fat pregnant gullet.
I wasn't worried about being cut open or rearranged in my gut region. I was worried about getting hungry and not being able to do a damn thing about it.
We had a lovely dinner of endless shrimp at Red Lobster the night before the surgery followed by a small chocolate milkshake at around 10pm. When I went to bed I was GOOD. The following morning however, I was STARVING. My body didn't know it was going through major surgery. The baby didn't KNOW he was entering the world to suckle at my TOTALLY AWESOME SWEET MILKING PRODUCING BOOBIE. We were hungry. THE END.
I made it through the surgery so good and everything was great. I felt so good and didn't REALLY need to pain shot. I totally took it anyway because HELLO, long time since I have had anything stronger than a TYLENOL and maybe, just maybe it would make me forget about my hollow belly.
The nurse finally came in and offered me ice chips and sprite and said, "Let us know when you pass gas". People if I knew then what I know now I would have sat up in my bed and bitch slapped that ho into the Christmas holiday.
I crunched my ice chips and drank my sprite like I had been walking through a desert with a horse with no name (try to get that song out of your head now I dare you) and wondered do I need to toot? No, I don't think so.
When the numbness wore off I decided to try out my sea legs a bit and also was told that that would help me stimulate a fluff so that I could get some dinner. I still was in NO PAIN. I walked all over the hospital. Down to the nursery to compare the cuteness of the other babies which I have to tell you, either it was a slow day or there were just no other babies created that day that compared to mine. I got back to my room and nothing not even a squeak of a fart.
So I settled in with my little cutie pie and napped and chatted with visitors and tried to forget about my hunger pains. At supper they brought broth. BROTH. Juices from a boiled chicken. Liquid. "This is all you can have until you pass gas doctors orders". As I am sitting there eating,and I use this term loosely, my husbands buddy brought in pizza for me. If that was not enough to burst into a sobbing fit my mommy had brought me m&m cookies to eat after the birth and my grandmother had brought brownies. I am not a total fat kid but I had not partaken in any of those treats for the past 5 months and I was ready to get my sugar induced grub on.
As I stared at the melty cheese and smelled the sausagy goodness I thought "What would one little bit hurt".
Stayed tuned for part two of "What it hurt"
"Oooooh, we have bubble wrap?"
"Marie, I am serious. Don't."
This is a permanent character flaw for me. When someone says do not do something, well, that's really all I think about doing. Why Eric doesn't KNOW this after 6 years I have no clue. As I drove to work this morning I stared at the tempting, air filled bubbles, just waiting to be popped. To make matters worse I get stopped by a train. I am not going to say that ALL the bubbles remained in tact, but Eric should still be able to ship his package safely...
I do have a point here. This post is not all about bubble wrap. No. It's really about farting. Put your honey bun down because this will probably get just a little graphic.
The Baby C (we still need a nickname) was scheduled to be born Sept 16th at 7:30 am. Thank the Lord I didn't have to wait for the second delivery slot which was at 11:30. I was not allowed to eat anything after midnight.
Now due to my very rebellious issues and the fact that I was on an eat every time my mouth opened schedule, I was worried about the lack of food that would NOT be shoveled into my fat pregnant gullet.
I wasn't worried about being cut open or rearranged in my gut region. I was worried about getting hungry and not being able to do a damn thing about it.
We had a lovely dinner of endless shrimp at Red Lobster the night before the surgery followed by a small chocolate milkshake at around 10pm. When I went to bed I was GOOD. The following morning however, I was STARVING. My body didn't know it was going through major surgery. The baby didn't KNOW he was entering the world to suckle at my TOTALLY AWESOME SWEET MILKING PRODUCING BOOBIE. We were hungry. THE END.
I made it through the surgery so good and everything was great. I felt so good and didn't REALLY need to pain shot. I totally took it anyway because HELLO, long time since I have had anything stronger than a TYLENOL and maybe, just maybe it would make me forget about my hollow belly.
The nurse finally came in and offered me ice chips and sprite and said, "Let us know when you pass gas". People if I knew then what I know now I would have sat up in my bed and bitch slapped that ho into the Christmas holiday.
I crunched my ice chips and drank my sprite like I had been walking through a desert with a horse with no name (try to get that song out of your head now I dare you) and wondered do I need to toot? No, I don't think so.
When the numbness wore off I decided to try out my sea legs a bit and also was told that that would help me stimulate a fluff so that I could get some dinner. I still was in NO PAIN. I walked all over the hospital. Down to the nursery to compare the cuteness of the other babies which I have to tell you, either it was a slow day or there were just no other babies created that day that compared to mine. I got back to my room and nothing not even a squeak of a fart.
So I settled in with my little cutie pie and napped and chatted with visitors and tried to forget about my hunger pains. At supper they brought broth. BROTH. Juices from a boiled chicken. Liquid. "This is all you can have until you pass gas doctors orders". As I am sitting there eating,and I use this term loosely, my husbands buddy brought in pizza for me. If that was not enough to burst into a sobbing fit my mommy had brought me m&m cookies to eat after the birth and my grandmother had brought brownies. I am not a total fat kid but I had not partaken in any of those treats for the past 5 months and I was ready to get my sugar induced grub on.
As I stared at the melty cheese and smelled the sausagy goodness I thought "What would one little bit hurt".
Stayed tuned for part two of "What it hurt"
Saturday, December 5, 2009
First and Last Santa Visit
We went and saw Santa today.
E reluctantly agreed to see Santa one last time. He has already informed me that he is pretty sure about the whole Santa story but still wants to believe in the "magic" of Christmas. When Santa asked what he wanted this year he looked straight at me and said, "A GOOD mountain bike, a really good one".
I knew it was coming and I am pretty sure he was questioning it last year so it wasn't that big of a suprise. He mailed a letter today and I forgot to get it out of the mailbox before the postman came, but the letter was gone when we got home so I need to thank our mail carrier I guess.
I always sneek the letter our and put it in my jewlery box. He found his last letter to the tooth fairy and told me about it so I stopped leaving money under his pillow. So, I bet if he finds the Santa letter he won't say a thing.
The baby was so cute with Santa. He wasn't scared at all and even smiled for the picture. I would post a picture but I am still not sure just how much I want to post that would identify me and my kids. I like having a place to post my thoughts annonymously. I am still trying to figure out a good blog name for the baby. I call him boo bear, stinker boo, suger booger, and any other rediculas name I can come up with because well, I am a nutcase and he is so stinking cute.
E reluctantly agreed to see Santa one last time. He has already informed me that he is pretty sure about the whole Santa story but still wants to believe in the "magic" of Christmas. When Santa asked what he wanted this year he looked straight at me and said, "A GOOD mountain bike, a really good one".
I knew it was coming and I am pretty sure he was questioning it last year so it wasn't that big of a suprise. He mailed a letter today and I forgot to get it out of the mailbox before the postman came, but the letter was gone when we got home so I need to thank our mail carrier I guess.
I always sneek the letter our and put it in my jewlery box. He found his last letter to the tooth fairy and told me about it so I stopped leaving money under his pillow. So, I bet if he finds the Santa letter he won't say a thing.
The baby was so cute with Santa. He wasn't scared at all and even smiled for the picture. I would post a picture but I am still not sure just how much I want to post that would identify me and my kids. I like having a place to post my thoughts annonymously. I am still trying to figure out a good blog name for the baby. I call him boo bear, stinker boo, suger booger, and any other rediculas name I can come up with because well, I am a nutcase and he is so stinking cute.
Friday, December 4, 2009
The real post
Sorry about yesterday I accidentally hit publish and I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to come up with a post. Do you know how many times I have sit down at my computer to post? Its on my mind all the time. Even Eric is asking when I am going to blog again.
The truth is I want to put up the really profound post explaining how we are mystified by the new little creature the fills our days and nights. How I can't believe we survived the last 5 years without his little warm body snuggled up against us when he is sleeping.
I can't put into words how all the epic fails in our lives don't seem to matter when we look at his smile.
When we settle down in the rocker at night to nurse before bed I just stare at his wonderful blue eyes and everything is right.
I could go on and on about how wonderful this baby is. He is a champion sleeper. Always wakes with a smile. He is a great nurser. Chooses to chill in his bouncer or swing and look at things rather than be held. But. Its just doesn't look like much when I read it back to myself.
No words can describe how incredibly blessed I am to have my two boys and my INCREDIBLE husband.
How do show happy in black and white?
Maybe this will help.
Con*ner Er*ic.
Born September 16th, 2009
8 pounds 11(and a half) ounces. (I told you he would be a hoss.)
Wonderful uncomplicated birth.
Scary gas (for me) the day after, followed by a very humbling enema that deserves it's OWN post. Seriously. AWFUL.
Mom, Dad, and brother couldn't be more proud.
The truth is I want to put up the really profound post explaining how we are mystified by the new little creature the fills our days and nights. How I can't believe we survived the last 5 years without his little warm body snuggled up against us when he is sleeping.
I can't put into words how all the epic fails in our lives don't seem to matter when we look at his smile.
When we settle down in the rocker at night to nurse before bed I just stare at his wonderful blue eyes and everything is right.
I could go on and on about how wonderful this baby is. He is a champion sleeper. Always wakes with a smile. He is a great nurser. Chooses to chill in his bouncer or swing and look at things rather than be held. But. Its just doesn't look like much when I read it back to myself.
No words can describe how incredibly blessed I am to have my two boys and my INCREDIBLE husband.
How do show happy in black and white?
Maybe this will help.
Con*ner Er*ic.
Born September 16th, 2009
8 pounds 11(and a half) ounces. (I told you he would be a hoss.)
Wonderful uncomplicated birth.
Scary gas (for me) the day after, followed by a very humbling enema that deserves it's OWN post. Seriously. AWFUL.
Mom, Dad, and brother couldn't be more proud.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
The mother of all updates.
Lets see. Where were we?
Oh yea,
I am fixing to have a BABY in 3 weeks. I am not sure how things went so quickly and it makes me sad in a way because, honestly? Even with the 100 degree heat I have had the best time with my little boy. Every day I still feel lucky. Every day I still thank God. Every day my heart swells at the sight of my husband preparing for his son. Every day I smile at my stretch marks.
I am thankful and there is no other way to say it.
E turned 9 this week and meets his third grade teacher today. I will take him to class with his school supplies today as he would rather die than have me walk him in on his first day. He is growing up so fast and is in between holding mom's hand and letting go and I am stuck in between holding him close and loosening my grip. It's a bittersweet time for us. He is going to be an amazing big brother and has been a big help in getting things ready. He puts his head up to my stomach and waits for his brother to kick him in the head which he ALWAYS does.
I have been pretty hormonal this week hence this sappy post.
END SAPPY
I am hungry y'all!
I mean like greasy cheeseburger hungry. 1 dozen doughnuts hungry. Dairy Queen Snickers Blizzard Hungry. Whole box of froot loops hungry.
I haven't been this bingeful minded since the days of the p*t.
Gestational Diabetes?
She sucks big fat hairy goat balls dipped in fat free soy milk.
I think I have done pretty well with it though. I have only gained 10lbs this whole pregnancy and the baby is measuring right on target. My sugar levels have been under control and if I cheat I try to be smart about it. I am pretty bad about taking bites of my family's stuff though.
The other night we went out to eat for E's birthday and he had Fries and Blossom Strips on his plate and Eric had mashed potatoes and the other side. I have been staying clear of potatoes because they really shoot my sugar up. Eric's mom started laughing and we looked and E had moved all his fries on the other side of his plate under his hamburger to get them away from my picking fingers. I mean, who takes their son's french fries off his plate on his birthday? His deprived 8 month pregnant starving mom, that's who. I had also been eating Eric's potatoes on the other side when he wasn't looking. I am starting to crack under the low carb pressure.
Well I gotta go meet the other woman is my kiddo's life for the next year.
Later Gators.
Oh yea,
I am fixing to have a BABY in 3 weeks. I am not sure how things went so quickly and it makes me sad in a way because, honestly? Even with the 100 degree heat I have had the best time with my little boy. Every day I still feel lucky. Every day I still thank God. Every day my heart swells at the sight of my husband preparing for his son. Every day I smile at my stretch marks.
I am thankful and there is no other way to say it.
E turned 9 this week and meets his third grade teacher today. I will take him to class with his school supplies today as he would rather die than have me walk him in on his first day. He is growing up so fast and is in between holding mom's hand and letting go and I am stuck in between holding him close and loosening my grip. It's a bittersweet time for us. He is going to be an amazing big brother and has been a big help in getting things ready. He puts his head up to my stomach and waits for his brother to kick him in the head which he ALWAYS does.
I have been pretty hormonal this week hence this sappy post.
END SAPPY
I am hungry y'all!
I mean like greasy cheeseburger hungry. 1 dozen doughnuts hungry. Dairy Queen Snickers Blizzard Hungry. Whole box of froot loops hungry.
I haven't been this bingeful minded since the days of the p*t.
Gestational Diabetes?
She sucks big fat hairy goat balls dipped in fat free soy milk.
I think I have done pretty well with it though. I have only gained 10lbs this whole pregnancy and the baby is measuring right on target. My sugar levels have been under control and if I cheat I try to be smart about it. I am pretty bad about taking bites of my family's stuff though.
The other night we went out to eat for E's birthday and he had Fries and Blossom Strips on his plate and Eric had mashed potatoes and the other side. I have been staying clear of potatoes because they really shoot my sugar up. Eric's mom started laughing and we looked and E had moved all his fries on the other side of his plate under his hamburger to get them away from my picking fingers. I mean, who takes their son's french fries off his plate on his birthday? His deprived 8 month pregnant starving mom, that's who. I had also been eating Eric's potatoes on the other side when he wasn't looking. I am starting to crack under the low carb pressure.
Well I gotta go meet the other woman is my kiddo's life for the next year.
Later Gators.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
On the Fast Track
Due to the severe drought we are experiencing in my great state, it is very uncommon to wake up to cooler weather and a wet patio. While taking my dog out to pee I decided to have a seat on the patio furniture while on lunch. As soon as I set down I realized my mistake.
My pants were soaked!
Not wanting to miss my chance at a golden opportunity for pure comic relief.
I waddled to the bedroom and may or may not have loudly shouted that my water broke. My poor husband may have been sleeping, having worked a 12 hour shift the night before.
He may have jumped 5 feet in the air clutching his chest.
He may have called me a couple of ugly names, that I totally deserved, when he realized I was joking.
But!
That was some funny shit, y'all.
My pants were soaked!
Not wanting to miss my chance at a golden opportunity for pure comic relief.
I waddled to the bedroom and may or may not have loudly shouted that my water broke. My poor husband may have been sleeping, having worked a 12 hour shift the night before.
He may have jumped 5 feet in the air clutching his chest.
He may have called me a couple of ugly names, that I totally deserved, when he realized I was joking.
But!
That was some funny shit, y'all.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
60 days!!!!!!!!
Or just about anyway. I will have a scheduled c-section so I know I will go earlier than my due date. Wowza! Right now the babies room is waiting for carpet and paint and my baby's stuff if taking up half the living room. I am starting to get a little antsy, but I have been so busy I can't seem to get anything done at home.
Last week both of my grandfathers started having health problems and we spent most of the week visiting both of them. One of them needed a pace maker and the other is being treated for congestive heart failure and pneumonia. I think that for the most part both of them are out of the woods but I do worry about them. Also, my grandmother is in the hospital today having tests on her heart to check for blockage. So if you pray, please give a little shout out for her.
I know that I am very fortunate to still have both sets of grandparents and I want so much for my children to be able to have the same relationship with them that I was blessed with.
I am feeling pretty good for the most part. I just have to watch the heat since it averages about 105 every freakin day. I feel so sweaty and gross most of the time.
I am going crazy worrying about my gestational diabetes. I was doing really well staying within the numbers they wanted until this week and they have been a little high. Not terrible just a little elevated. I rarely ever go over 150 but have occasionally. My doctor says all is fine and my numbers look great so I just keep doing my best.
I am a little obsessive about it and the stress and worry I am doing is probably worse than the actual diagnosis. I have even read that there are many studies about gestational diabetes not even being a real disease. I don't want to hurt my baby but I also don't want to take a bunch of medicine that could be avoided. I don't even take Tylenol if I can avoid it. I was not offered any classes or anything and was only given a written diet that is pretty darn confusing. The only food that really makes my sugar crazy is cereal and that happens to be what I want all the time. I dream about it. Crave it. I have tried all kinds and the lowest reading I got was with fruity pebbles. No, I am not still eating them. But I want to.
I have hardly gained any weight since being diagnosed and I eat what I want just limiting white bread and I have cut out all sweets. I always make sure I eat some sort of salad, vegetable, or fruit with my food and am trying to eat a lot of protein and fiber too.
I have started making a list of things I plan on eating once my womb is vacant again but since I have started loosing inches and toning up, I might just stick to this. Maybe..don't hold me to it.
I did learn that they make sugar-free Oreos.
I have yet to find them :(.
If any of you have any information on diabetes or good recipes I would love to hear about them!
Last week both of my grandfathers started having health problems and we spent most of the week visiting both of them. One of them needed a pace maker and the other is being treated for congestive heart failure and pneumonia. I think that for the most part both of them are out of the woods but I do worry about them. Also, my grandmother is in the hospital today having tests on her heart to check for blockage. So if you pray, please give a little shout out for her.
I know that I am very fortunate to still have both sets of grandparents and I want so much for my children to be able to have the same relationship with them that I was blessed with.
I am feeling pretty good for the most part. I just have to watch the heat since it averages about 105 every freakin day. I feel so sweaty and gross most of the time.
I am going crazy worrying about my gestational diabetes. I was doing really well staying within the numbers they wanted until this week and they have been a little high. Not terrible just a little elevated. I rarely ever go over 150 but have occasionally. My doctor says all is fine and my numbers look great so I just keep doing my best.
I am a little obsessive about it and the stress and worry I am doing is probably worse than the actual diagnosis. I have even read that there are many studies about gestational diabetes not even being a real disease. I don't want to hurt my baby but I also don't want to take a bunch of medicine that could be avoided. I don't even take Tylenol if I can avoid it. I was not offered any classes or anything and was only given a written diet that is pretty darn confusing. The only food that really makes my sugar crazy is cereal and that happens to be what I want all the time. I dream about it. Crave it. I have tried all kinds and the lowest reading I got was with fruity pebbles. No, I am not still eating them. But I want to.
I have hardly gained any weight since being diagnosed and I eat what I want just limiting white bread and I have cut out all sweets. I always make sure I eat some sort of salad, vegetable, or fruit with my food and am trying to eat a lot of protein and fiber too.
I have started making a list of things I plan on eating once my womb is vacant again but since I have started loosing inches and toning up, I might just stick to this. Maybe..don't hold me to it.
I did learn that they make sugar-free Oreos.
I have yet to find them :(.
If any of you have any information on diabetes or good recipes I would love to hear about them!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Dear Baby
I know you don't know what kick counts are, but they are something that mommy has to do everyday to make sure that you are staying healthy in there. You are always a champ at kick counts. You rock my belly every morning from about 9:30 to 12:00 and then take a nice long nap until the afternoon where you start your acrobatics again.
Imagine my suprise and dismay when Sunday morning I didn't hear a peep out of you during kick count time. Imagine my utter horrer when I only got a couple of movements out of you Sunday night and nothing again Monday morning.
Yes I did get to listen to your heartbeat and see your cute little body in the extra sonogram that we got when you STILL refused to move in the Dr.'s office. And we did have a relaxing hour at the hospital while being hooked up to monitors that I am just sure you didn't like since you kept hiding all over my stomach.
The kicker here, my dear little boy, is that APPARENTLY you have decided to do your martial arts at night while I am sleeping. And sleep during kick count time.
Your father did kick count time last night at 1:00(am) and I slept through it.
Its fine now but I need to let you know that Mommy is not very pleasant to be around at 1(am) so If we could get back on the lovely schedule of playtime being at 10(AM) I would VERY much appriciate it.
I love you so very much and cant wait for kick counts when I can see your cute chubby legs flying through the air coupling with a couple of grins.
Love,
Mommy
P.S. If you really like 1(am), its ok. We will just make Daddy stay home and play with you since he is a night owl too.
Imagine my suprise and dismay when Sunday morning I didn't hear a peep out of you during kick count time. Imagine my utter horrer when I only got a couple of movements out of you Sunday night and nothing again Monday morning.
Yes I did get to listen to your heartbeat and see your cute little body in the extra sonogram that we got when you STILL refused to move in the Dr.'s office. And we did have a relaxing hour at the hospital while being hooked up to monitors that I am just sure you didn't like since you kept hiding all over my stomach.
The kicker here, my dear little boy, is that APPARENTLY you have decided to do your martial arts at night while I am sleeping. And sleep during kick count time.
Your father did kick count time last night at 1:00(am) and I slept through it.
Its fine now but I need to let you know that Mommy is not very pleasant to be around at 1(am) so If we could get back on the lovely schedule of playtime being at 10(AM) I would VERY much appriciate it.
I love you so very much and cant wait for kick counts when I can see your cute chubby legs flying through the air coupling with a couple of grins.
Love,
Mommy
P.S. If you really like 1(am), its ok. We will just make Daddy stay home and play with you since he is a night owl too.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Pin cushion
Updated... I decided I knew more than my doctor and had a cookie. Bad idea, my blood sugar shot up to 145..oops.
I, Marie at That special water, will hold what my doctor tells me true to my little bitty heart..amen.
I wan't another cookie :(.
Y'all see my baby over there? He is getting pretty cute. I hope he looks like his dad. My husband had the bluest eyes and most handsome face and I am so excited to see his son. We have a name picked out but I am still not sure I want to share it on here but just know that it is a good one. I can tell you that his middle name is not Maximus or Optimus, Eric. I think that we have the middle name but I am not sure as Eric is changing his mind. I really don't mind what he chooses as long as it has no reference to "Transformers" or "Iron Man".
E is still at his dad's and will hopefully be home Monday. I say hopefully because technically his dad has until July 1st to keep him but in the past we have always just split up the summer by weeks instead. E made it very clear that he wanted to come home after a week so maybe his father will play nice and do what is best for his son. I miss him so much when he is gone but as he grows I know that he is having a good time and being active and that better than sitting around playing video games all summer. My grandparents are taking him camping next week and he also has boyscout day camp coming up.
I am pretty sure that I do NOT have GD. I have checked my blood sugar all day while eating my diet plan and my sugar was great if not a little low. Since I am not drinking a bottle of pure sugar everyday I feel that I do not have to be worried about controlling the levels. I don't know all there is to know about GD but I would think that I would have gotten a high reading at least once since I started checking myself right? Before I failed the second test I had half a pan of rice krispy treats (shut-up) and my sugar didn't even spike. So, instead of making myself crazy I am going to make healthy eating decisions (most of the time) and continue to monitor my blood sugar levels and will take action if I see a problem.
Well I have bored you beautiful people quite enough so run out and find a funny blog to get the bad taste out...
Love ya!!
I, Marie at That special water, will hold what my doctor tells me true to my little bitty heart..amen.
I wan't another cookie :(.
Y'all see my baby over there? He is getting pretty cute. I hope he looks like his dad. My husband had the bluest eyes and most handsome face and I am so excited to see his son. We have a name picked out but I am still not sure I want to share it on here but just know that it is a good one. I can tell you that his middle name is not Maximus or Optimus, Eric. I think that we have the middle name but I am not sure as Eric is changing his mind. I really don't mind what he chooses as long as it has no reference to "Transformers" or "Iron Man".
E is still at his dad's and will hopefully be home Monday. I say hopefully because technically his dad has until July 1st to keep him but in the past we have always just split up the summer by weeks instead. E made it very clear that he wanted to come home after a week so maybe his father will play nice and do what is best for his son. I miss him so much when he is gone but as he grows I know that he is having a good time and being active and that better than sitting around playing video games all summer. My grandparents are taking him camping next week and he also has boyscout day camp coming up.
I am pretty sure that I do NOT have GD. I have checked my blood sugar all day while eating my diet plan and my sugar was great if not a little low. Since I am not drinking a bottle of pure sugar everyday I feel that I do not have to be worried about controlling the levels. I don't know all there is to know about GD but I would think that I would have gotten a high reading at least once since I started checking myself right? Before I failed the second test I had half a pan of rice krispy treats (shut-up) and my sugar didn't even spike. So, instead of making myself crazy I am going to make healthy eating decisions (most of the time) and continue to monitor my blood sugar levels and will take action if I see a problem.
Well I have bored you beautiful people quite enough so run out and find a funny blog to get the bad taste out...
Love ya!!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Too Much Tuesday
Well my camping trip ended abruptly when I overheated while cooking breakfast Saturday morning. I started feeling weak and dizzy and so we called it a weekend and went home to enjoy the air conditioning.
I am having trouble with my breathing. I am not sure it the baby is positioned funny and crowding my lungs or what. After eating I feel like I can take a full breath and it really freaks me out. I also have a pretty fast heart beat.
I got for my 3 hour screen tomorrow so today I am really trying to watch my carbs and praying that I don't fail that test. If I do I will make the appropriate changes to my diet but I feel super cheated. I have not ate anywhere near the amount of ice cream I was planning on for summer yet!
I am having trouble with Ethan's father about visitation again. We always have issues in the summer.
We agree on something and then he gets mad and changes to hurt me. He doesn't realize that he is only hurting E.
I found out that he is leaving E home alone with two other 9 year old little boys and his 12 year old adopted sister. I am in no way comfortable with this. I have googled everything imaginable and also called cps to see what Texas laws are on leaving your child home alone and from what I can gather, there is no legal age. I think that 4 children under the age of 12 left unsupervised all day is asking for trouble. However, I have to release my child to him since the papers say I do.
Oh and the decision to leave the home alone is not because they are poor and can not afford child care. It's because he is super cheap and can get free childcare out of this little girl that grew up taking care of her real brothers and sisters at the ripe age of 4. She has never had a childhood to speak of. I feel that she is responsible and could be trusted to stay home alone, but even I would have trouble with three 9 year old little boys.
I was told as a consolation that if something did happen that I would not be held responsible since he is not in my care.
Tell me what the hell it would matter if I was "responsible" or not. I would have to live with the decision to "obey" the rules and forgo my judgement and instincts, if something happened to my son.
What would you do?
Oh and did I mention that one of the children have special needs?
Joint custody sucks.
I am having trouble with my breathing. I am not sure it the baby is positioned funny and crowding my lungs or what. After eating I feel like I can take a full breath and it really freaks me out. I also have a pretty fast heart beat.
I got for my 3 hour screen tomorrow so today I am really trying to watch my carbs and praying that I don't fail that test. If I do I will make the appropriate changes to my diet but I feel super cheated. I have not ate anywhere near the amount of ice cream I was planning on for summer yet!
I am having trouble with Ethan's father about visitation again. We always have issues in the summer.
We agree on something and then he gets mad and changes to hurt me. He doesn't realize that he is only hurting E.
I found out that he is leaving E home alone with two other 9 year old little boys and his 12 year old adopted sister. I am in no way comfortable with this. I have googled everything imaginable and also called cps to see what Texas laws are on leaving your child home alone and from what I can gather, there is no legal age. I think that 4 children under the age of 12 left unsupervised all day is asking for trouble. However, I have to release my child to him since the papers say I do.
Oh and the decision to leave the home alone is not because they are poor and can not afford child care. It's because he is super cheap and can get free childcare out of this little girl that grew up taking care of her real brothers and sisters at the ripe age of 4. She has never had a childhood to speak of. I feel that she is responsible and could be trusted to stay home alone, but even I would have trouble with three 9 year old little boys.
I was told as a consolation that if something did happen that I would not be held responsible since he is not in my care.
Tell me what the hell it would matter if I was "responsible" or not. I would have to live with the decision to "obey" the rules and forgo my judgement and instincts, if something happened to my son.
What would you do?
Oh and did I mention that one of the children have special needs?
Joint custody sucks.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Maken Bacon
Since I don't get a paid maternaty leave and want to save all my vacation and sick time to have with the baby, I have to work today while my family is at the lake. I did spend last night out there and drove in this morning.
We are off to a terribly bumpy start.
My hormones are off, or its too hot out there, or Eric's displaying some dickiness, or E's being difficult.
Not sure.
We are just having trouble.
Eric and I fought last night, and E and I this morning.
We forgot pillows and a fan. We also brought a twin air matress thinking it was a full or queen. This morning I took a cold shower because I couldn't figure out how to work the temperature and didn't get it until the shower was over.
Anybody have any suggestions other than don't go tent camping when you are going on seven months pregnant?
I wanted this so badly.
I just hope that we can get it together and enjoy this little summer get away.
We were the park entertainment last night I am sure.
If you saw a fat lady screaming at her husband and calling him a dumbass then you saw my family at our finest.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Ding Dang Damn
I failed my 1 hour glucose test. This has been the one thing that I have been worried about as I am quite a bit heavier than I was the last time around.
I had my father in law check my sugar yesterday from his personal kit and it was good. Well since I ate a whole pan of rice krispy treats in the previous 24 hours, I figured I was good to go. Fast forward to this moring. I did exactly as instructed and drank my little drinky drink, waited an hour and went to get poked(heh heh).
186
It's supposed to be under 140. It was 114 yesterday.
I have to go to the hospital and get the 3 hour test done.
I think I am going to do the test again at home since I still have the stuff left and see what result I get.
I had my father in law check my sugar yesterday from his personal kit and it was good. Well since I ate a whole pan of rice krispy treats in the previous 24 hours, I figured I was good to go. Fast forward to this moring. I did exactly as instructed and drank my little drinky drink, waited an hour and went to get poked(heh heh).
186
It's supposed to be under 140. It was 114 yesterday.
I have to go to the hospital and get the 3 hour test done.
I think I am going to do the test again at home since I still have the stuff left and see what result I get.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Public Service Announcement.
Beware Of Snakes
Thanks to all the rain this spring...you may be seeing more snakes around your property. Wildlife control officials say the combination of wet weather and the start of the snakes' mating season means the critters are on the move. Experts say snakes are actually beneficial, working to control the rodent population. They say most snakes in North Texas are harmless -- except for water moccasins, copperheads and rattlesnakes.
This was a bulleton on our local online daily news. I find it pretty funny. What other snakes are the in East Texas? They should have said don't worry about the rat snakes or grass snakes but anything else..run like hell.
I almost stepped on one last summer when we were fishing in a creek. Eric was messing with me and I jumped back (almost directly on a snake). I still shudder thinking about it.
I have been wanting to go camping forever so I will brave the snakes so that I can sit outside and read and drink sun tea and fish and play dominoes and eat powdered sugered doughuts and fish and anything else I can do sitting or laying down in my lawn chair.
The greatest thing of all is that since my stomach is on the verge of scaring small children, I don't have to do anything but show up. Eric and E will have it all ready when I arrive at camp. Pretty awesome!!
Thanks to all the rain this spring...you may be seeing more snakes around your property. Wildlife control officials say the combination of wet weather and the start of the snakes' mating season means the critters are on the move. Experts say snakes are actually beneficial, working to control the rodent population. They say most snakes in North Texas are harmless -- except for water moccasins, copperheads and rattlesnakes.
This was a bulleton on our local online daily news. I find it pretty funny. What other snakes are the in East Texas? They should have said don't worry about the rat snakes or grass snakes but anything else..run like hell.
I almost stepped on one last summer when we were fishing in a creek. Eric was messing with me and I jumped back (almost directly on a snake). I still shudder thinking about it.
I have been wanting to go camping forever so I will brave the snakes so that I can sit outside and read and drink sun tea and fish and play dominoes and eat powdered sugered doughuts and fish and anything else I can do sitting or laying down in my lawn chair.
The greatest thing of all is that since my stomach is on the verge of scaring small children, I don't have to do anything but show up. Eric and E will have it all ready when I arrive at camp. Pretty awesome!!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Summer
I want to have summer break with E. We could play outside and eat popsicles. Read books and go to the park and fish and swim. Basically I just want to be free to sit on my ass till the baby is born.
I don't think I have ever missed summer vacation as badly as I do right now.
I don't think I have ever missed summer vacation as badly as I do right now.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
That smile
I don't normally post pictures of my kiddo on here but hopefully if someone was to stumble upon my blog and knows us personally they would give me the courtesy of pretending it doesn't exist.
E had an awards assembly this morning and due to schedule conflicts at work It looked like I was not going to be able to go. He was receiving an award and was a little bummed. Eric went to video and I told E that I would make a special dinner and we would all watch it tonight.
Of course at about 8:45 the mommy guilt started and I sat here thinking about him walking across the first of many stages in his life and accepting an award for one of the many accomplishments we hope to see him make.
I grabbed my purse at 8:50 and flew out the door. I sped like a maniac scared to miss this little milestone.
I parked and ran (hobbled) down the sidewalk for what seemed like a mile. Speed walked into the cafeteria and made it just in time for his teacher to call his name.
I clapped with pride and watched my little man puff in chest in pride and half hug his teacher and principal.
When he looked back and saw us sitting there with our chests puffed with pride I got the smile.
A boyish grin and a small wave.
I will do just about anything for that smile.
E had an awards assembly this morning and due to schedule conflicts at work It looked like I was not going to be able to go. He was receiving an award and was a little bummed. Eric went to video and I told E that I would make a special dinner and we would all watch it tonight.
Of course at about 8:45 the mommy guilt started and I sat here thinking about him walking across the first of many stages in his life and accepting an award for one of the many accomplishments we hope to see him make.
I grabbed my purse at 8:50 and flew out the door. I sped like a maniac scared to miss this little milestone.
I parked and ran (hobbled) down the sidewalk for what seemed like a mile. Speed walked into the cafeteria and made it just in time for his teacher to call his name.
I clapped with pride and watched my little man puff in chest in pride and half hug his teacher and principal.
When he looked back and saw us sitting there with our chests puffed with pride I got the smile.
A boyish grin and a small wave.
I will do just about anything for that smile.
Monday, June 1, 2009
On my way to budha belly
While getting ready for work I am thinking who in their right mind would make tapered leg maternaty pants. Also, who in their right mind would buy said pants. Me, thats who. I was not paying attention as I snagged them off the rack at the thrift shop. I am sitting here wishing that I had thrown them back in my closet but instead I wore them and everytime I get up they stick to my calves, making me have to jiggle my fatty legs to make them come down where they are supposed to be. It's as unflattering as it sound. I. Promise.
Next, the maternaty swimmy suit. I chose the Tankini style and I have to say I am SUPER happy with the boobage cover however, the one that covered so great up top has teeny tiny bottoms. The problem with this is the lack of visual confirmation that the lawn has been properly mowed. Do you get me? I did try. Worked and worked in the blind this and this is what I got:
Eric finally decided to help but who can feel relaxed while someone is taking a razor to your delicate girly bits while laughing so hard they are crying?
I am just going to wear shorts with my tankini from now on.
Next, the maternaty swimmy suit. I chose the Tankini style and I have to say I am SUPER happy with the boobage cover however, the one that covered so great up top has teeny tiny bottoms. The problem with this is the lack of visual confirmation that the lawn has been properly mowed. Do you get me? I did try. Worked and worked in the blind this and this is what I got:
Eric finally decided to help but who can feel relaxed while someone is taking a razor to your delicate girly bits while laughing so hard they are crying?
I am just going to wear shorts with my tankini from now on.
Friday, May 29, 2009
My Nirvana
Dear baby boy,
When I feel you move in my belly my whole world stands still and I involuntarily hold my breath. For that second, its just you and I. Thank you for letting me know you are there.
Love,
Mom
When I feel you move in my belly my whole world stands still and I involuntarily hold my breath. For that second, its just you and I. Thank you for letting me know you are there.
Love,
Mom
Friday, May 8, 2009
Dear MR. Employer and economy
I have a little boy that is setting in his bed with stomach cramps from the virus he had yesterday wishing that his mom could stay home with him today. At 8 years old there are not very many moments left when he will look at his mommy and say "Can you stay with me?"
Dear Mr. Employer and Economy, do you know what I had to tell him?
Mr. Employer, you do, since I am sitting at my desk typing right now.
Due to being on bed rest for a week and having to miss a few extra days for sickness for son or Dr. appointments I am out of paid time off.
Due to the crappy economy I can neither afford nor feel comfortable staying at home lest my great sales job be in danger and I may not be able to find another one as I am 5 months pregnant.
So here I set PISSED OFF. I bet I get a whole ton of work done today, what do you think? Me neither, my guess is that I sit here and blog all damn day and call my son every 20 minutes. The jokes on you.
Dear Mr. Employer and Economy, do you know what I had to tell him?
Mr. Employer, you do, since I am sitting at my desk typing right now.
Due to being on bed rest for a week and having to miss a few extra days for sickness for son or Dr. appointments I am out of paid time off.
Due to the crappy economy I can neither afford nor feel comfortable staying at home lest my great sales job be in danger and I may not be able to find another one as I am 5 months pregnant.
So here I set PISSED OFF. I bet I get a whole ton of work done today, what do you think? Me neither, my guess is that I sit here and blog all damn day and call my son every 20 minutes. The jokes on you.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Fiber-Con
Ladies and Gentleman(Slyde),
I got *benefibered today.
*Definition of benefibered: When your husband dumps benefiber, by the TABLESPOON(s), into your orange juice without your knowledge because that is the ONLY way you will take it, tasteless of not. Then you find out and sit at your desk in fear that he used too much and that your ass is going to explode.
I got *benefibered today.
*Definition of benefibered: When your husband dumps benefiber, by the TABLESPOON(s), into your orange juice without your knowledge because that is the ONLY way you will take it, tasteless of not. Then you find out and sit at your desk in fear that he used too much and that your ass is going to explode.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
19 Weeks
Hi all! Long time no post.
I don't suppose I have a good reason why I am not blogging. I guess I am just trying to soak up my experiance and enjoy it all to myself. Does that make sense? I am so amazed at the changes taking place in our lives as we get ready for this baby.
Eric and I are slowly letting out our breath with relief and each day passes and the baby keeps growing.
Everyone was so sure this was going to be a little girl but me. I just couldn't wrap my head around a girl. Eric was so sure it was a girl it made it great that I was right and he was wrong. E got to go with us at the ultrasound and he was so excited that he got what he wanted.
My moods have been a little crazy and I am trying to keep myself in check and Eric has only had to sleep on the couch once so I think things are going pretty well.
I am so happy and while I know this I still feel a tiny blue and I feel terrible putting on here. I should be pissing sweet tea and shitting rainbows and never utter one complaint right?
So I just don't blog because I am so super scared that I am going to say something stupid or insensitive. However, the problem with this is I am loosing my outlet. So I really undecided about how to proceed with my blogging experience.
I haz guilt.
I don't suppose I have a good reason why I am not blogging. I guess I am just trying to soak up my experiance and enjoy it all to myself. Does that make sense? I am so amazed at the changes taking place in our lives as we get ready for this baby.
Eric and I are slowly letting out our breath with relief and each day passes and the baby keeps growing.
Everyone was so sure this was going to be a little girl but me. I just couldn't wrap my head around a girl. Eric was so sure it was a girl it made it great that I was right and he was wrong. E got to go with us at the ultrasound and he was so excited that he got what he wanted.
My moods have been a little crazy and I am trying to keep myself in check and Eric has only had to sleep on the couch once so I think things are going pretty well.
I am so happy and while I know this I still feel a tiny blue and I feel terrible putting on here. I should be pissing sweet tea and shitting rainbows and never utter one complaint right?
So I just don't blog because I am so super scared that I am going to say something stupid or insensitive. However, the problem with this is I am loosing my outlet. So I really undecided about how to proceed with my blogging experience.
I haz guilt.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Dont get Testie...
I know I suck and haven't blogged and commmented, but hate me later cause:
I'M HAVING A BOY!!!!!!!
I'M HAVING A BOY!!!!!!!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Somebody slap me
I am just a big gooey pile of nerves today. If it can be worried about I have thought about it today.
As I approach my SECOND TRIMESTER(WTF!!!), time seems to be slipping away. 1 whole part of my pregnancy will be history as of Sunday. I can HEAR TICKING PEOPLE! I created a master list of things that needed to be done and holleee shit did I not need to do that.
Home repair, taxes, baby room, finances, animal care/training, cleaning, bills, money, dollars, pennies, lack of money ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maternity leave, c-section.
See?
I have already ruined Eric's day off by worrying so much that he is at home worrying and playing demolition to the bathroom.
Logically, I know that everything is going to be fine. I did this before when I was barely considered an adult. I have a wonderful husband we own our home and have jobs and money. I didn't have any of this before so I know everything is going to be ok.
I need to burn the master list all it did was put me in a shitty mood.
My Dr. is hell bent on performing a c-section and I feel strongly that given my knowledge on things now and highter maturity level and the length of time between births that I could safely try to give the baby a natural birth.
Does anyone have any insight on vbacs(vaginal births after cecerean?) I want the experiance and the birth classes.
I was induced before my due date with E and honestly? I don't feel like he was ready and that affected the birth process. I was also considerably smaller then and I think that now that I have done all the spreading I am hopefully ever going to do that I should at least be able to try.
As I approach my SECOND TRIMESTER(WTF!!!), time seems to be slipping away. 1 whole part of my pregnancy will be history as of Sunday. I can HEAR TICKING PEOPLE! I created a master list of things that needed to be done and holleee shit did I not need to do that.
Home repair, taxes, baby room, finances, animal care/training, cleaning, bills, money, dollars, pennies, lack of money ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maternity leave, c-section.
See?
I have already ruined Eric's day off by worrying so much that he is at home worrying and playing demolition to the bathroom.
Logically, I know that everything is going to be fine. I did this before when I was barely considered an adult. I have a wonderful husband we own our home and have jobs and money. I didn't have any of this before so I know everything is going to be ok.
I need to burn the master list all it did was put me in a shitty mood.
My Dr. is hell bent on performing a c-section and I feel strongly that given my knowledge on things now and highter maturity level and the length of time between births that I could safely try to give the baby a natural birth.
Does anyone have any insight on vbacs(vaginal births after cecerean?) I want the experiance and the birth classes.
I was induced before my due date with E and honestly? I don't feel like he was ready and that affected the birth process. I was also considerably smaller then and I think that now that I have done all the spreading I am hopefully ever going to do that I should at least be able to try.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Who's your sucky blogger
So, raise your hand if you have had a sick child this week and totally fell short on your ICLW responsibilities.
Marie: Me, Me, Me!!!!
I am sorry I do hope to get back into the swing of things.
This virus that E has will not die. He will get better and instantly have a 101 fever all over again. He has missed 3 days of school and this is the first time he has missed all year. He is never sick and so when he is I tend to go overboard. You name the symptom and he has had it. I have used a whole can of Oust, hoping to kill all the germs I can, but I feel a good cleaning is in order..joy.
I have been reading when I can and commenting and I am probably not that far behind but I feel that my blog is suffering.
eh, I have never been an over achiever so I guess you have to take what you get.
Marie: Me, Me, Me!!!!
I am sorry I do hope to get back into the swing of things.
This virus that E has will not die. He will get better and instantly have a 101 fever all over again. He has missed 3 days of school and this is the first time he has missed all year. He is never sick and so when he is I tend to go overboard. You name the symptom and he has had it. I have used a whole can of Oust, hoping to kill all the germs I can, but I feel a good cleaning is in order..joy.
I have been reading when I can and commenting and I am probably not that far behind but I feel that my blog is suffering.
eh, I have never been an over achiever so I guess you have to take what you get.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
And so it begins
“Well, I used to tell my husband that we could be professional baby makers. I wasn’t sick a day. I wore my pregnancies beautifully and most people didn’t even know I was with child until about 7 months. I had more energy than usual and my house never looked better. I just don’t know what it would feel like to have morning sickness or pains! I guess some people just handle it better than others.”
Bite me, grandma!
Bite me, grandma!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The Hunger
I would like to dedicate this post to food and crazy dreams. I don't know if I have forgotten the weird pregnancy stuff or if this child is completely different from E. I can't eat meat. Well, I can't eat anything I can picture raw. I can eat Hot dogs, pepperoni, tuna and shrimp. The rest of what I consume is fruit and cheese. Healthy right? I haven't had strong cravings only strong adversions. I wan't the cravings! I want to make Eric drive the BFE to get me something I can't live without but sadly, I can only name the things I can't eat. I am hungry ALL THE TIME. I have been wanting chicken and dumplings and my father in law is going to fix some today and I am going to try to eat them so wish me luck!
I would also like to comment on my crazy ass dreams!
Last night was the first night that I have actually dreamed about the baby. My dreams post last nights included: Them smoke monster in Lost, Syid in Lost and going to the middle east and shopping in a mall with my grandma.
Last night I dreamed that the baby came early and we were in no way prepared. The baby's room was not done so I decided to make him a home in my closet that just got cleaned yesterday. We have no crib or bassinet so Eric fashioned a bed out of a indoor basketball goal complete with a lighted scoreboard. It was a boy and he could talk so I kept apoligizing to him about not being prepared and he was all "Mom, its cool...REALY." I let E hold him and before I knew it he had laid him down and forgot where he put him.
That happened THREE TIMES.
We finally realized that we would just wait until he cried and then we could find him.
It never occured to me to stop letting him have the baby.
I am questioning my parenting skills right now.
I am also hungry!
I would also like to comment on my crazy ass dreams!
Last night was the first night that I have actually dreamed about the baby. My dreams post last nights included: Them smoke monster in Lost, Syid in Lost and going to the middle east and shopping in a mall with my grandma.
Last night I dreamed that the baby came early and we were in no way prepared. The baby's room was not done so I decided to make him a home in my closet that just got cleaned yesterday. We have no crib or bassinet so Eric fashioned a bed out of a indoor basketball goal complete with a lighted scoreboard. It was a boy and he could talk so I kept apoligizing to him about not being prepared and he was all "Mom, its cool...REALY." I let E hold him and before I knew it he had laid him down and forgot where he put him.
That happened THREE TIMES.
We finally realized that we would just wait until he cried and then we could find him.
It never occured to me to stop letting him have the baby.
I am questioning my parenting skills right now.
I am also hungry!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Nadya
I cried when I saw this. I haven't been following this story due to the fact that I want to do bodily harm to all parties involved. I think about what we have gone through, which is a drop in the bucket of what some of my dear internet friends have gone through to concieve, and It physically hurts to see this irresponsibility. I wonder what will happen to these sweet babies.
The Dr. that did this? You are one sick fuck!
The Dr. that did this? You are one sick fuck!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Wow
Holy Crap! Check out my ticker. That might be a little inaccurate at least my dr seems to think I am not that far along but I am going to use my judgement until I know something else.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Dirty Dream
Last night a dreamed(dreamt?)that I gave birth to a cat.
Have you ever tried to burp a cat?
It's not easy!
Have you ever tried to burp a cat?
It's not easy!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The Beginning
I am not very detail oriented. I am bad about leaving out details and think faster than I type of talk. It occured to me that I haven't really gave many details about finding out and such so today I am going to tell my conception story.
November was an extremely hard month for us. We had some things going on financially that had to be taken care of. We were fighting emotional battles within ourselves and estranged family and it was taking a toll on our relationship. I think we all know that when you throw TTC in the mix of that, then you have a recipe for disaster.
I was already late for my October period and was starting to get a little crazy. I had really worked myself up and was convinced that the pregnancy test were wrong and that I was indeed pregnant. When I did start I was devestated, again, and bitchy, again, and depressed, again. I was a treat.
Lather, rinse, & repeat for December as my november period was off from being late in October and didn't come until middle of december. Eric and I were having so much trouble that I wouldn't even fill out the RE paperwork because I just couldn't see it. I knew that filling out that paperwork was it and if we did commit to a medicated cycle the odds of it working, in my mind, were super slim.
I decided to take a trip and get away to see my best friend. I have never traveled anywhere alone and she works at a ski resort and we would have free access to some of the best skiing in Colorado so I was stoked about getting away and seeing her.
We had decided to take a complete break in december. No charting, temping, test taking, talking about a baby, no timed sex. I was so excited about the trip I don't even remember when my period was. I do know that I drank wine like it was my second job. We enjoyed the holidays and enjoyed New Years.
Eric's birthday was January 14th and we were having a little cookout for him and thinking that I was supposed to start my period soon, I decided to take a test. I didn't expect anything but a negative and honestly knew that I would not be that sad when I saw it. I just didn't want to miss the opportunity of giving my husband a positive for his birthday.
Well the test popped up positive IMMEDIATELY.
I took 1 more on the way home...in a gas station. (Don't judge me)
I would love for this part to be a sweet way that I wrapped up the stick and gave it to him with all the other presents. I did intend to do it that way. However, what really happened is this.
I burst through the door.
He was playing Grand Theft Auto iv.
I shoved the stick in his face and said, "look, you are going to be a dad".
Blink
Blink
"What?"
"Your lying"
"That's fake"
I showed him both tests and had another test ready for when I had to pee again.
Here is the part of the story where I would like to tell you that he jumped up and down and swept me in his arms and we danced in the kitchen. Here is what really happened.
He went to the garage.
I followed him in.
He had tears in his eyes.
He saw me looking at him.
"You better not be joking"
Then we hugged and laughed and all that good stuff.
After dinner we took the test together. I peed in a cup and he dipped the test and we got another positive.
E was ecstatic.
We told our parents that night. And pretty much everyone else knew the next day.
Now as for my due date, I don't have a confirmed one yet. I think I am about 7 weeks. My HCG test showed high like 7-12 weeks when I should have been 5 weeks so that was a little confusing. My Dr said you can't use that to calculate how far along you are.
The ultrasound maching showed my sach to be measuring 5 1/2 weeks last Monday and yesterday he didn't really tell me. Since I don't know the exact day of my last period I may not have a calculated due date until March 2nd when I go back to the DR.
We live in such a small town and have 3 OB Drs. Apparently the sonogram machine isn't the best and that is why we could barely see the heart beat. My Dr. doesn't do the vaginal ultrasound and I didn't hear the heart beat but I did see if flashing.
It has been 8 years since I have done this so I am open to any and all assvice. Also I am looking for the best ticker and I will just use my calculations until next month. But that is where we are so far.
November was an extremely hard month for us. We had some things going on financially that had to be taken care of. We were fighting emotional battles within ourselves and estranged family and it was taking a toll on our relationship. I think we all know that when you throw TTC in the mix of that, then you have a recipe for disaster.
I was already late for my October period and was starting to get a little crazy. I had really worked myself up and was convinced that the pregnancy test were wrong and that I was indeed pregnant. When I did start I was devestated, again, and bitchy, again, and depressed, again. I was a treat.
Lather, rinse, & repeat for December as my november period was off from being late in October and didn't come until middle of december. Eric and I were having so much trouble that I wouldn't even fill out the RE paperwork because I just couldn't see it. I knew that filling out that paperwork was it and if we did commit to a medicated cycle the odds of it working, in my mind, were super slim.
I decided to take a trip and get away to see my best friend. I have never traveled anywhere alone and she works at a ski resort and we would have free access to some of the best skiing in Colorado so I was stoked about getting away and seeing her.
We had decided to take a complete break in december. No charting, temping, test taking, talking about a baby, no timed sex. I was so excited about the trip I don't even remember when my period was. I do know that I drank wine like it was my second job. We enjoyed the holidays and enjoyed New Years.
Eric's birthday was January 14th and we were having a little cookout for him and thinking that I was supposed to start my period soon, I decided to take a test. I didn't expect anything but a negative and honestly knew that I would not be that sad when I saw it. I just didn't want to miss the opportunity of giving my husband a positive for his birthday.
Well the test popped up positive IMMEDIATELY.
I took 1 more on the way home...in a gas station. (Don't judge me)
I would love for this part to be a sweet way that I wrapped up the stick and gave it to him with all the other presents. I did intend to do it that way. However, what really happened is this.
I burst through the door.
He was playing Grand Theft Auto iv.
I shoved the stick in his face and said, "look, you are going to be a dad".
Blink
Blink
"What?"
"Your lying"
"That's fake"
I showed him both tests and had another test ready for when I had to pee again.
Here is the part of the story where I would like to tell you that he jumped up and down and swept me in his arms and we danced in the kitchen. Here is what really happened.
He went to the garage.
I followed him in.
He had tears in his eyes.
He saw me looking at him.
"You better not be joking"
Then we hugged and laughed and all that good stuff.
After dinner we took the test together. I peed in a cup and he dipped the test and we got another positive.
E was ecstatic.
We told our parents that night. And pretty much everyone else knew the next day.
Now as for my due date, I don't have a confirmed one yet. I think I am about 7 weeks. My HCG test showed high like 7-12 weeks when I should have been 5 weeks so that was a little confusing. My Dr said you can't use that to calculate how far along you are.
The ultrasound maching showed my sach to be measuring 5 1/2 weeks last Monday and yesterday he didn't really tell me. Since I don't know the exact day of my last period I may not have a calculated due date until March 2nd when I go back to the DR.
We live in such a small town and have 3 OB Drs. Apparently the sonogram machine isn't the best and that is why we could barely see the heart beat. My Dr. doesn't do the vaginal ultrasound and I didn't hear the heart beat but I did see if flashing.
It has been 8 years since I have done this so I am open to any and all assvice. Also I am looking for the best ticker and I will just use my calculations until next month. But that is where we are so far.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Tick, Tick, Tick
I have one hour until I leave for my ultrasound and the clock seems to be frozen on 1:14.
To be fair to all the google searches that we bloggers make fun of, I thought that I would comprise a list of my own personal google searches this week. Some were googled by me and others by Eric while I was laying in bed in tears. I will let you guess the ones he had the pleasure of googleing.
1. 5 ½ weeks and we didn’t see a heart beat?
2. Orgasm and Miscarriage?
3. Really high HCG levels but no heart beat
4. Brownish discharge in 6th week of pregnancy?
5. Can I use face wash with sylic acid while pregnant? (still not sure)
6. Molar Pregnancy
7. Signs you are having twins
8. 6 weeks pregnant and extremely hungry
9. due date calculator
10. 7 weeks pregnant and so very hungry
11. 7 weeks pregnant and still hungry as I am eating is this normal.
12. am I having twins quiz
13. Pregnant belly shots at 6 weeks (for comparison as I feel that my stomach is HUGE already and I am not even playing.
So there you have my humbling list. I am sure there were more but I can’t remember now.
I am serious about the hunger. Has anyone else experienced this? I am eating something small and healthy every 2-3 hours. Sometimes I think its nausea but it always get better after I eat something. I have never had hunger pains until now and I swear they are real and they suck.
Well I killed 15 minutes so now I will go eat string cheese.
I will check back with good news…
To be fair to all the google searches that we bloggers make fun of, I thought that I would comprise a list of my own personal google searches this week. Some were googled by me and others by Eric while I was laying in bed in tears. I will let you guess the ones he had the pleasure of googleing.
1. 5 ½ weeks and we didn’t see a heart beat?
2. Orgasm and Miscarriage?
3. Really high HCG levels but no heart beat
4. Brownish discharge in 6th week of pregnancy?
5. Can I use face wash with sylic acid while pregnant? (still not sure)
6. Molar Pregnancy
7. Signs you are having twins
8. 6 weeks pregnant and extremely hungry
9. due date calculator
10. 7 weeks pregnant and so very hungry
11. 7 weeks pregnant and still hungry as I am eating is this normal.
12. am I having twins quiz
13. Pregnant belly shots at 6 weeks (for comparison as I feel that my stomach is HUGE already and I am not even playing.
So there you have my humbling list. I am sure there were more but I can’t remember now.
I am serious about the hunger. Has anyone else experienced this? I am eating something small and healthy every 2-3 hours. Sometimes I think its nausea but it always get better after I eat something. I have never had hunger pains until now and I swear they are real and they suck.
Well I killed 15 minutes so now I will go eat string cheese.
I will check back with good news…
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Treading Water
I am sorry about the spotty(pun intended) updates. My status has been downgraded as all the bleeding has stopped. I am still sitting on my ass today. Partly because I still want to be careful. But also because, its Thursday, and no person in their right mind starts anything on Thursday. I have manages to get much done through the way of lost though. I have finished season 3 and will start 4 with dinner.
I am still worried about the lack of baby in the pregnancy sac but I guess Monday will show us what we need to know. I feel optimistic as I watched TLC all day yesterday and was all aaaawwwwww. I also was very sick this morning and thankful that I could climb back into bed and sleep it off. I am eating every couple of hours. I would love to say that I am blaming my hunger on the baby to get to eat whatever I want but, DUDE. I go from normal to starving in like 5 seconds. The kicker is I don't have a clue what I want to eat. I get pissed if no one has any suggestions and then I just eat fruit loops. I had a huge salad today which hopefully will make up for all the shit that is in fruit loops.
I have to give props to Eric. That man has really taken care of my and his (potential) offspring. He has cooked and cleaned and laid around with me. Held me and even checks my boobs every little while to see if they are still sore. He is totally vested in us and I am just totally is sappy starry love with him.
E is home from his dad's and I am so happy that I he is here. I had him stay over with his father for a couple of night because I was terrified that I would loose the baby and he would be here. He didn't want to leave me and the first thing he did today was check on "the belly". Its really just fat and bloat at this point but if hes attached to it then who's to judge. Rubbing it makes me feel better so I totally get it.
Well I going back to my couch cause honestly? I am going to milk the last few hours of my bed rest. It don't happen often folks and hopefully this will be the last week laying on my back until Eric takes me on a baby moon.
Love ya!!
I am still worried about the lack of baby in the pregnancy sac but I guess Monday will show us what we need to know. I feel optimistic as I watched TLC all day yesterday and was all aaaawwwwww. I also was very sick this morning and thankful that I could climb back into bed and sleep it off. I am eating every couple of hours. I would love to say that I am blaming my hunger on the baby to get to eat whatever I want but, DUDE. I go from normal to starving in like 5 seconds. The kicker is I don't have a clue what I want to eat. I get pissed if no one has any suggestions and then I just eat fruit loops. I had a huge salad today which hopefully will make up for all the shit that is in fruit loops.
I have to give props to Eric. That man has really taken care of my and his (potential) offspring. He has cooked and cleaned and laid around with me. Held me and even checks my boobs every little while to see if they are still sore. He is totally vested in us and I am just totally is sappy starry love with him.
E is home from his dad's and I am so happy that I he is here. I had him stay over with his father for a couple of night because I was terrified that I would loose the baby and he would be here. He didn't want to leave me and the first thing he did today was check on "the belly". Its really just fat and bloat at this point but if hes attached to it then who's to judge. Rubbing it makes me feel better so I totally get it.
Well I going back to my couch cause honestly? I am going to milk the last few hours of my bed rest. It don't happen often folks and hopefully this will be the last week laying on my back until Eric takes me on a baby moon.
Love ya!!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
PSST.. over here
Well I saw the ob this morning and I was upgraded to bedrest. The Dr. said it was possible I could have tried to miscarry but of course he doesn't really know.
I had an ultrasound this morning and I am measuring 5 1/2 weeks. I so damned confused. The blood test showed 7-12 weeks. My Dr. said not to count on that and the ultrasound was correct.
There is a sac but no baby. It is still early so I am trying my best to be positive.
So I am on bedrest for a week and they will check me again monday.
I don't have a laptop and the male pregnancy patrol is pretty tuff around here, so I don't know when I will get to update.
I feel ok right now so we will hope for the best!
I had an ultrasound this morning and I am measuring 5 1/2 weeks. I so damned confused. The blood test showed 7-12 weeks. My Dr. said not to count on that and the ultrasound was correct.
There is a sac but no baby. It is still early so I am trying my best to be positive.
So I am on bedrest for a week and they will check me again monday.
I don't have a laptop and the male pregnancy patrol is pretty tuff around here, so I don't know when I will get to update.
I feel ok right now so we will hope for the best!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
What the hell is Pelvic Rest?
Well my uterus decided to start leaking. My cervix are still tightly closed but the uterus is LEAKING. I am supposed to stay calm.
How?
I want this baby so bad.
Not only do I feel out of control. I am the cause of this.
I insisted that it would be ok for us to fool around. Even when Eric was worried I was sure it would be ok.
He rocked my world.
I started bleeding.
Even if all the books say its ok.
Proceed with caution or be prepared to bleed and freak the FUCK OUT.
Oh, I did find that I am somewhere between 7&8 weeks.
However, this is not the way I wanted to get a beta.
How?
I want this baby so bad.
Not only do I feel out of control. I am the cause of this.
I insisted that it would be ok for us to fool around. Even when Eric was worried I was sure it would be ok.
He rocked my world.
I started bleeding.
Even if all the books say its ok.
Proceed with caution or be prepared to bleed and freak the FUCK OUT.
Oh, I did find that I am somewhere between 7&8 weeks.
However, this is not the way I wanted to get a beta.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Hello My Name is Marie and I am a Lostaholic
So being the "Johnny come lately" that I usually am, I will not be watching the season premier tonight. I will be starting season 3. A friend loaned us season 1 and we were hooked. We finished season 2 last night and I am itching to start 3.
Anyone else crazy about this modern Gilligan's Island?
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Hey there, Hi there, Ho there
I have been trying to post all day and something was wrong and I couldn't get on here. Now I have forgot most of what I wanted to say. Never fear though I still have plenty.
As far as I know there is still a human inside me. I go from feeling elated and happy to, "Oh my gosh! I don't feel pregnant! What if something happened. Eric!"
And then I fall asleep.
My first OB appt was nothing other than confirming pregnancy and I have to wait two more weeks to actually be ready for the real appt, you know the good stuff like how far along and such.
I have no idea how far along I am. I didn't calculate anything last month and I was just trying to get through the holidays. I usually whine on here when Flo stops by and I didn't do that so I actually have no clue.
I am thinking that I am 5 weeks.
I feel great really. I am tired but when I wake up I have a smile on my face and, that my friends, makes all the difference in the world.
We have told our family and some co-workers but are trying to keep things quiet. We all know what can still happen and I try my best not to focus on that, but it is so hard to breathe easy right now.
I love you guys and thank you so much for the congrats. I didn't think Eric and I would get here honestly. I lost faith in my dream and only saw it on the occasions that I would read an encouraging comment or one of the many successes in our blogging community.
I hope that if you stumble upon me that our TTC story can give someone hope.
I hope that 2009 brings even more positive pee sticks and sore boobs!
As far as I know there is still a human inside me. I go from feeling elated and happy to, "Oh my gosh! I don't feel pregnant! What if something happened. Eric!"
And then I fall asleep.
My first OB appt was nothing other than confirming pregnancy and I have to wait two more weeks to actually be ready for the real appt, you know the good stuff like how far along and such.
I have no idea how far along I am. I didn't calculate anything last month and I was just trying to get through the holidays. I usually whine on here when Flo stops by and I didn't do that so I actually have no clue.
I am thinking that I am 5 weeks.
I feel great really. I am tired but when I wake up I have a smile on my face and, that my friends, makes all the difference in the world.
We have told our family and some co-workers but are trying to keep things quiet. We all know what can still happen and I try my best not to focus on that, but it is so hard to breathe easy right now.
I love you guys and thank you so much for the congrats. I didn't think Eric and I would get here honestly. I lost faith in my dream and only saw it on the occasions that I would read an encouraging comment or one of the many successes in our blogging community.
I hope that if you stumble upon me that our TTC story can give someone hope.
I hope that 2009 brings even more positive pee sticks and sore boobs!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Beta?
Thank you guys for your well wishes!
I am already going to start picking brains.
I need to know if everyone gets a beta? Will my ob perform one or do I ask for it? What are good numbers?
I read lots about getting pregnant and now I need to know how to do pregnant. Anything else I should ask the Dr?
Thank you in advance!
I am already going to start picking brains.
I need to know if everyone gets a beta? Will my ob perform one or do I ask for it? What are good numbers?
I read lots about getting pregnant and now I need to know how to do pregnant. Anything else I should ask the Dr?
Thank you in advance!
Title Anyone?
Hey my dearies,
Its been a whirlwhind start to my new year so I am behind on posting and commenting.
We celebrated the New Year, with E, at Six Flags and had a fabu time!
We then had another Christmas with my Dad and grandparents.
Finnally got all the decorations taken down.
Celebrated Eric's birthday yesterday.
Peed on three sticks and saw a +, and =, and =.
Dr. Appoitment at 2:30.
I'ma nervous as Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its been a whirlwhind start to my new year so I am behind on posting and commenting.
We celebrated the New Year, with E, at Six Flags and had a fabu time!
We then had another Christmas with my Dad and grandparents.
Finnally got all the decorations taken down.
Celebrated Eric's birthday yesterday.
Peed on three sticks and saw a +, and =, and =.
Dr. Appoitment at 2:30.
I'ma nervous as Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, January 9, 2009
Work it Girls!
Either my boobs were up all night working out to my tai bo dvd, or I am going to start soon.
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